Over You
by makesmyheadspin
Summary: Eric & Sookie have always been annoyed by each other. After high school he moved off to L.A. to pursue fame while Sookie remained devoted to her high school boyfriend, Jake, who just happens to be Eric's best friend. Then a terrible tragedy brings Eric & Sookie back together. The events that follow change both of their lives forever. AH/OOC Updates daily on WP. Cowrite w/Scribe
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"You definitely have a fever," Jake says after reading the thermometer.

"I don't want to be sick," I whine.

Jake laughs with a sympathetic look on his face. "No one wants to be sick, baby."

I groan and flop back against the arm of the couch. I've been sniffling and coughing for the last two days, living in total denial about my health status until tonight when we went up to the hospital to see Jake's older sister, Stephanie. She had a baby girl late last night. Well, very early this morning. The nurses wouldn't let me on the ward just in case. It's slightly ridiculous since it was a hospital, crammed full of germs and sick people, but whatever.

I had to settle for seeing pictures of my niece instead of getting to hold her like everyone else. But seeing as I'm running a fever, it's probably best that I didn't go near her. Jake pulls my feet into his lap and starts rubbing.

"You think that doctor will be able to tell us why we're not having any luck?" Jake asks me.

We've been trying to get pregnant for a little more than a year now and so far nothing has happened, so I got a referral from my regular doctor to see a fertility specialist. We're going in next week for a basic work up. I get my blood drawn to check my hormone levels and Jake has to donate some swimmers for analysis to see where the issue is.

"Yeah, I think so. Dr. Edgington said he's one of the best in the field. It's probably something simple," I say confidently. I have to be positive about this. Giving up hope will get me nowhere.

"Cora's cute, isn't she?" Our new niece.

"Very. Our kids will be cuter, of course."

"Of course," he agrees with a smile.

Jake starts rubbing my feet and I close my eyes. He's not legally my husband, but we've been together since our senior year of high school. That's seven years already. It doesn't seem possible that much time has passed. When we first got together, I didn't expect it to last. We didn't share a social circle at all. Jake was a jock and definitely more popular than me in the traditional, textbook definition of cool in high school.

He went to parties, played sports, dated around and was really only faithful to his truck, his team and his best friend, Eric Northman. I was Jason Stackhouse's little sister, and despite the fact that my brother graduated three years ahead of me, most guys were too intimidated by his threats to approach me. Jake never cared.

We were in the same AP Biology class senior year and somehow flirted our way through kitten dissection. He asked me to homecoming, and we never looked back. We had to do the long distance thing through college since he went to Ole Miss to play football and I went to Duke on an academic scholarship. It was hard, but we made it work. We lived for summers and holidays.

Now I'm running a dance studio with my best friend Tara. I've always loved dancing. Mom's always said she could feel me dancing when I was still cooking, so it's no surprise to her where my career path led me. I want to get into choreography, but for now I'll have to settle for working with the Poms girls at the high school.

Jake decided he didn't want to go pro. We wanted to be together and start building a life. If he'd been signed that wouldn't have happened. He says he never wanted to go pro, but I'm not sure I totally believe that. He got a degree in physical education, so he's teaching at our old high school and coaching the JV football team.

It's a small life, but we're happy.

I turn in the TV and flip to the news. The Oscars are coming up soon. I'm already bored.

Then we see a familiar face. Eric Northman is nominated for his second award since his big break when we were twenty. I never, in a million years, would have suspected he was interested in acting. Scoring with as many chicks as possible and being a local celebrity sure. It seems he's taken his act globally.

Good for him.

"Think he'll win this time?" I ask Jake.

"I hope so. He was great in the role he was nominated for," Jake says. He's so damn loyal and supportive, but that's how a best friend is supposed to be.

I feel Jake's phone buzz and he digs it out of his pocket. "Speak of the devil," he grins and answers the call on speaker. "Hey, buddy, we're just watching a story about you on the news."

"You better watch the ceremony too," Eric says. "I'm not gonna win, but you could play a drinking game with how much I'm on screen or something."

"You have the same chance as everyone else in your category," Jake says.

My money's on Pacino, but sure...

"I'm still young, I don't want to win yet," he says.

Yeah right.

"Why not?" Jake asks with a laugh.

"If I want to win I'll jinx it, fool," he laughs. "Just being nominated gets me laid though."

I roll my eyes.

"Imagine what one of those statues would get you," I say before I can stop myself.

I don't know why I antagonize him, but I can't seem to stop myself.

"Well hello there Sookie," he says. "Trust me when I tell you that the population of Los Angeles isn't ready for that much Eric Northman."

I snort. Loudly.

"Just warn me if you ever do full frontal," Jake says. "I saw enough of that in the locker room."

"I'll be sure to tell you so Sookie can pay close attention."

"Yeah, I hear I better look close or I'll miss it." I can't resist.

Jake throws his head back and laughs.

"I know many, many women who would beg to differ," Eric retorts cockily.

"You have done your share... and mine," Jake agrees.

"Had to after you turned your man card in for a ball and chain."

"So you're screwing so Jake can live vicariously through your penis?" I ask.

"No, he's not allowed to live through my penis. He needs to take his punishment for choosing one pussy for the rest of his life."

"In my defense, it's good stuff," Jake says.

My cheeks burn a little, but I appreciate him sticking up for me. Even if it's weird and crossing a line a little.

"Whatever you say, man," Eric says.

"So what's up, Eric?" Jake takes him off speakerphone, and I get up to start getting ready for bed.

I brush my teeth, wash my face and then call Tara to give her a head's up about my fever.

"Hey Sook," she says.

"Hi. I just want to let you know I'm coming down with something. I'm running a fever. I think it's just a cold, but I may need to take a few days off," I warn.

"That's cool. I can have Halleigh cover your classes if I need to."

"Hopefully I'll only be out a day or two. I'll see how I'm feeling in the morning and we'll go from there."

"Sounds good. How's Steph doing?"

"Okay. Cora is adorable. The nurses wouldn't let me through, though, so I didn't get to see them."

"Bummer."

"Yeah, but I'd hate to get a newborn or a new mom sick."

"True," she sighs.

"Okay, I'm going to go to sleep. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Alright. Feel better."

"Thanks. Sweet dreams." We hang up and I put my phone on its charger.

I'm just dozing off when Jake comes into the room. He's quiet about getting ready for bed, but it feels good when he snuggles up behind me. He kisses my shoulder and he's sound asleep in minutes. My sinuses, on the other hand, have other ideas. I move around a bunch, but can't find a comfortable position. Eventually, I grab my pillow and take it to the couch with me.

I make myself a cup of tea and start looking through the cable guide. One of the movie channels is about to run Eric's movie, _The Rookie Mistake_. It really irks me that he's so talented. He oozes charisma from every cell in his body. What's worse is that he really is better looking in person than he is on screen. It's a pretty big deal for our little hometown to be able to say someone as big as Eric got his start here.

What makes me laugh are the interviews of his that I've read. It sounds so fake! I don't believe for a second that he's always wanted to be an actor. Jake, being the good friend he is, never contradicts what Eric says. Jury's still out on whether or not that's a good thing. Sometimes I think Eric needs a good kick in the pants. He's not a total asshole, if I'm being honest. He busts Jake's balls for choosing me over pro ball, but Jake's already figured out what Eric is lightyears from learning.

Life isn't about how much money you make, how big your house is, the kind of car you drive or even how successful you are in your career. Life is about loving who you are and finding the right person to share it with. Eric might be with a different woman every night, but I don't think that equates with happiness. It reeks of self-indulgence, and wanting to have the best of both worlds.

I try not to judge because I haven't walked a mile in Eric's shoes, but he bugs the shit out of me. He's the one person in the world I enjoy antagonizing and fighting with. I think it's fair to say we have a love/hate relationship.

We love Jake and hate each other.

**EPOV**

I walk last night's girl to the door and make sure to leave her with a kiss, but no promises of seeing her again. That's just how it works. I'm not an asshole about it, and they always know what they're getting. It's a night of sex, breakfast in the morning, and see ya around. I'm definitely not interested in getting into a relationship right now.

My life is very hectic. Sometimes I have to shoot in other countries or in a random location for months at a time. There's no way I'd expect a girl to just deal with not having to see me, and frankly there hasn't been a girl I've wanted to be faithful to for that long. I'm not a cheater, and I don't plan to start. The easiest way to get around that is to not get in relationships in the first place.

There are times when I see the same girl for a few months. Usually that's when it's an actress. We both get what it's like in our job, so actresses don't have insane demands on my time or jealousy when I have to be gone for a couple weeks. The problem with actresses though is their insecurities. I've dated some of the most "beautiful" women in the world, and all of them have had issues with their bodies even though there was nothing wrong with them.

It's insane what the pressure of the Hollywood machine will do to some people. It's rare to find actors and actresses who don't care about their looks. A lot of that has to do with their standing though. If they're established as a serious actor, it won't matter. People don't see their movies because they're hot. But if your meal ticket is chick flicks and romance fluff, then there is a pressure to remain "hot." I did my best to stay away from that crap, even though I get offers for it all the time.

Thankfully on one of my first roles I had the opportunity to work with a seasoned veteran, who gave me some great advice on picking roles. He told me that it's okay to get "fuck you" money roles at first, but to balance them with indie movies to keep myself humble, and then the good stuff would start filtering in. Sure enough it did, and now I'd been nominated for an Oscar twice, a few Globes, some SAG awards, and various others. I've never won anything but a SAG, but that win felt better to me than any of the others would have simply because it was voted on by my fellow actors.

At first I didn't sleep around all that much. I stuck to costars since costars almost always ended up fucking anyway. That's not to say that the leads always fucked, but if you're in a movie there are plenty of willing actresses. As I got a little more cred, I started branching out a little. My big rule was to never fuck a fan. They were the ones who would go on the internet to share all the dirty details, and I didn't want any other fans thinking they'd get the same treatment. I'd been with models and photographers, personal trainers to celebrities, industry types, friends of celebrities... Pickings weren't slim.

Still, it's sometimes nice to go back home and visit my friends. I'd gotten Jake and Sookie to come out and see me once, and it was awesome. It would have been better if he'd left Sookie at home, but that's another story. What I love about still having friends like them is that they don't get starstruck around me. They don't give a shit what my connections are, or who I'm working with. They just know me as the guy from high school who had zits and didn't grow into his looks right away.

In short, they aren't impressed with me. Proud, but not impressed.

Once the girl is gone I head to my bathroom to shower. I have a meeting in the afternoon and an industry party tonight. Even though it might seem like a blast to everyone reading the magazines, it's still work for me.

I live in a pretty big house. Definitely bigger than what I need, but I saw it as kind of an investment. There are five bedrooms, three bathrooms in the main house, and then there's a pool and a guest house with a little kitchen. For how big it sounds, it felt like home when I bought it. With the right decorator, who I also banged, it became way more home-y and feels smaller than what it is.

When I get out of the shower I hear someone come in the front door. It's most likely my assistant, Stan. I tried having a female assistant once, but that didn't work out for obvious reasons. Stan comes over and brings me my schedule for the next couple days, he also picks up my mail and usually brings coffee.

I get dressed and head out to the kitchen, and sure enough Stan is there sorting my mail. He's a nerdy kid. Young, stylish in the hipster way with those stupid skinny jeans and sweater vests with big nerd glasses, but he's very eager to do a good job, which he does. I lucked out with the kid, and when he eventually decided to break into another aspect of the industry he'd have my full recommendation.

"Morning, Stan," I say, and pick up the cup of Starbucks on the counter.

"Morning, Boss," he says without looking up from his task. "Coffee's on the counter."

"Got it," I say, and take a sip. "Anything good in the mail today?"

"Invite to the Crane Twin's unbirthday party," he smirks and hands over the invite.

I smirk and say, "Explain the unbirthday thing to me again."

"I think it's age denial. The party's like a week before so they can go into seclusion on their actual birthday," he says.

I laugh and set the invitation aside. I'll most likely go. The twins were fun to be around.

"Do we have any offers for what I'm wearing to the awards shows yet?" I ask.

I used to have a contract with Tom Ford when I did an ad campaign with them, but I already wore a Tom Ford to my last event. They were good suits, but I liked to mix it up a little. I never thought I'd be into fashion at all when I moved to L.A. but being in the Hollywood business pretty much forces you to be.

"Word around the campfire is there's interest at Hugo Boss," Stan says, and hands me what I'm sure are fan letters. "I think the pink one might have panties in it."

"Right into the trash with that one," I said, rolling my eyes.

I love my fans' enthusiasm for the most part, but giving me panties crosses a line I don't like being crossed.

Stan pulls the pink envelope and deposits it accordingly. His cell phone rings so he looks at the call window.

"Did you lose your phone again, Boss? Jake's calling me," he says.

"I think I have it on silent still," I say, and hold my hand out for the phone. He hands it over and I answer. "Hey Jake, what's up?"

"Uh, may I speak to Eric northman?" It's not Jake. "This is Jason Stackhouse, Sookie's brother."

This is strange. I have no idea why Sookie's brother would need to call me.

"This is Eric," I say.

"Oh, hey. I didn't recognize your voice. It's been a long ass day. Listen, I uh... I'm calling for Sook. She uh... Well see Jake... I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this but Jake was killed last night," Jason tells me.

My heart starts racing, and the blood drains from my face. Stan looks a little alarmed, but I don't acknowledge him. This has to be some kind of joke.

"If this is a joke, it's really fucking fucked up," I practically growl into the phone.

"Believe me, Eric, I wish it was. Jake went out to get Sook some cold medicine late last night and cops say he interrupted a robbery. They think he died instantly," he says in a sad but trying to sound tough kind of voice.

While Jason talked I did the only thing I could think of to validate what he was saying. By the time he finishes, I'm looking at Jake's facebook page on my laptop. His wall is flooded with rest in peace messages from friends. I feel like I need to puke. My best friend is dead.

"When..." I start to say, but I hear my voice crack, so I take a second to clear it before starting again. "When are the services?"

"We'll be going over to the funeral home in the morning. I think the wake'll be the day after and the funeral the day after that. Sook wanted to call you herself but she's not making much sense right now," he says. His concern for Sookie is obvious in his voice. "I know Jake was your best friend. He was a great guy. I'm sorry for your loss. If you need someone to pick you up from the airport I'm sure we can figure something out."

"Thanks, Jason," I say. "I'm sure I'll make it there alright. Just um... Just take care of Sookie, alright?"

I may not like Sookie much, but Jake told me more than once that she was the love of his life. They were about to start trying for a kid.

"Absolutely," he says. Then there's muffled talking on his end of the line.

"Eric," Sookie's strained, distraught voice hits me.

My heart feels as though it stops. I have no idea how to talk to a distraught woman.

"Sookie," I say, unsure of what I could possibly tell her to ease her pain.

"Don't you dare book a hotel," she says. "Jake would never forgive me for not letting you stay here, so I'd like it if you would. Please."

I can't say no to her.

"Okay," I say. "I'll be there tomorrow, I promise."

"Alright. Have a safe flight. Thank you for coming."

"I couldn't not be there," I say. "Are you alri- I mean... Fuck, I don't know what to say."

"It's okay," she says with a heavy sigh. "The only thing to say is that this is bullshit and completely un-fucking-fair."

"Yeah... Yeah, it is. I'm sorry this happened."

"So am I," she agrees, and then she starts crying. A few seconds pass and then the line goes dead.

I stare at the phone in my hand for a moment, and my eyes flick back to the laptop screen. Jake's profile picture is one of him and Sookie. They're both smiling like they have their whole lives ahead of them. I feel like I'm in a dream.

"Stan," I say, and he immediately comes into the living room. I hand him his phone back. "I need you to cancel everything I have for the next week."

"Cancel or reschedule?"

"Reschedule what you can. I have to go back to Louisiana."

"What happened?" He knows something isn't right.

"Jake's dead."

The words feel so fucking strange coming from my mouth.

"Fuck," he mutters. "I'm sorry, Eric. Should I book travel arrangements?"

"Yeah, actually," I say numbly. "Yeah, that'd be good. Thank you."

"Flights, car and hotel, or will you be staying with friends?" Stan's already calling the airline. He's an expedient little fucker.

"Flights and car."

"You got it, Boss," he says and then gets on the line with a ticket agent.

I look back to the Facebook page again and close it before sitting back on the couch. I feel defeated. I feel like nothing makes sense. The only thing I know is that I have to get to Louisiana.

* * *

**There you go. There are definitely some sad moments in this story but I swear they aren't all angsty. Kjwrit got prereads on this entire story and you'll see why as we get further into it, and she gave it the green light and her stamp of approval. I'll be updating this daily on the wordpress account I set up for the stories I've co-written with Scribeninja. I'm adding a link to that account on my profile so you can follow us and get your daily updates. Thanks so much for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I can't breathe.

I'm moving in a zombie-like way, going through the motions. I feel so detached and far away from everyone. I've cried an ocean of tears and it's only been twenty hours since Sheriff Dearborn came by personally to give me the news. I thought maybe Jake got a flat tire, or he got to talking with Maudette since he always thought it was messed up a lady worked third shift. He worried about her, even though he barely knew her.

That's the kind of man that's been taken from this world. It makes my stomach turn. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't breathe without him. How do I move on from this? How do I try to comfort others when it doesn't make sense to me?

Everything hurts, and not just because I'm running a fever of 102. My heart hurts. It feels empty, shattered and like it's being squeezed by barbed wire all at once. I know I need to pull it together. I need to make a list of things to do. I need to try to get some sleep if I can.

But I'm afraid to slow down. I'm afraid if I do I'll lose it completely. I'll melt down and never be me again.

_What good am I without him?_

I don't know how to live without Jake anymore.

My whole future revolved around him and the plans we were making. He wasn't just my lover, but my best friend and the man who was going to father my children. We went to the specialist yesterday. He'll never know the results of the test now.

I'm sitting at the kitchen table all by myself. I finally convinced everyone to give me some time alone. There's food everywhere, not that I have appetite enough to eat. It's all I can do to force down my tea. My voice goes in and out and I'm still coughing like a two pack a day smoker.

Jase was the last one to go and made me promise to call him if I need anything, but I don't want to burden anyone. I stare into my lukewarm tea and try to make some kind of sense out of what happened. Sheriff Dearborn said a white male around thirty went into the Grab-It-Kwik roughly ten minutes before Jake got there. He overpowered Maudette easily. He tied her up in the back and was in the middle of clearing out the register when Jake showed up.

He was barely inside the store when he was shot in the head. The robber continued to clear out the register, and then went to the back room where Maudette was. He sexually assaulted her and then shot her, too. And for what? A score of $37.00 because the graveyard shift doesn't keep more than fifty in the till.

I'm outraged, furious, livid... pick a synonym for anger and I feel it.

The doorbell rings. I don't want to be bothered, but I'm not rude enough to ignore the bell. I get up and go to the front door. I should be asleep, but I don't see it happening for me. The sun will be up soon anyway.

I open the door.

"Eric." I shouldn't be surprised to see him, but I am. I figured he would want to make more of an entrance than show up quietly like this.

On the other hand, I'm alarmingly happy to see him and before I know it, I'm holding onto him for dear life and sobbing all over again. I think if anyone can understand what I've lost, it's this asshole I love to hate.

He wraps his arms around me, and the next thing I know I'm being picked up and carried into my living room. Eric sits down on the couch with me and starts making those little 'shh' noises to try and calm me down. It doesn't work right away, but I eventually run out of steam. Eric hands me a box of tissues and I get to work drying off my face.

"I'm sorry," I apologize.

"It's okay."

"I'm a hot mess right now," I say in a froggy voice that's equal parts due to my cold and my grief.

Eric is quiet for a moment and then he says, "Is he really gone?"

My eyes meet his. Does he really think I'd pull a prank like this? But I see in his eyes something familiar to my own feelings. I don't want to believe it either.

I can't get myself to say the words so I nod and fight back a fresh batch of tears.

He wraps his arms around me again and holds on tight.

There are no words for a while. I think I hear Eric sniffle, but I allow him the dignity of not looking up at him. I wait for him to release me before I say anything.

"I'm sorry you had to come back on such awful circumstances," I tell him.

"Me too," he says, and tries to discreetly wipe his eyes. "It's not like you could have changed it."

I'm not so sure about that. I could have just gone out myself. I know it's a mistake to think that way, but it's hard not to.

I stand up and ask, "Are you hungry or thirsty? There's enough food in my kitchen to feed a small country."

"Not really," he says. "I haven't been hungry."

"I know the feeling." I stand there awkwardly for a minute. "Well, um, I'm sure you're probably tired. I didn't expect you so soon, but I made up the guest room for you, so if you're tired go on and get some sleep."

"I'm not sure I can sleep right now," he says, and stands up. "But if you have any whiskey, I'd love some."

"Of course," I offer a half smile and head to the kitchen with Eric right behind me. "Watch out for pie-shaped landmines."

I'm serious about all the food. Word got around quickly about Jake and before noon I had no more room in my fridge or freezer for the guilt/grief buffet supplied by neighbors and friends.

"Whoa," he says. "Why do people do this? The last thing on my mind right now is eating."

"Same here, but I've already put aside two pies for after the funeral that I intend to pig out on." I grab the bottle of requested liquor from a cabinet and a glass from another, and then hand them both to Eric.

"Thanks," he says, and takes a seat at the kitchen table. "You want any?"

I debate for a moment, but if ever there's a time to drink at an absurd hour, this is it. Eric pours himself a generous drink while I get myself a glass. When I join him at the table he pours me one too.

"How was your flight?" I ask him as he caps the bottle.

"It was alright. I kind of zoned out through the whole thing."

I nod and sip the drink. It burns my throat as it goes down, but it leaves a warmth in my belly. If I drink the whole thing I'll be drunk. I'm not much of a drinker and I haven't eaten anything in at least twenty-four hours.

"How long will you be in town?" I don't expect him to stick around. I know he's busy.

"A week," he says.

"Oh." I don't hide my surprise.

"Jake is... was... he was the only person I gave a shit about. The only one who gave a shit about me. He'd want me to stay and make sure you're taken care of."

"Eric, I'm gonna be fine. I have my family, Jake's family, my friends... You don't have to hang out here and babysit me. But I do appreciate the offer." I take a bigger drink.

"Then I'd like to stay for my own peace of mind," he says, and takes a drink too.

"If you want, that's fine. I'm not going anywhere." I can tolerate him for a week. Probably not much more than that.

We sit quietly for a little while, just thinking our own thoughts and sipping our drinks.

"I'd like you to give Jake's eulogy," I say to break the silence. "It should be you."

He looks surprised for a moment, and then nods.

"I can do that."

"Good, because I would probably throw up. I'm a terrible public speaker and you do it for a living... naked."

Well, not always naked.

He cracks a smile and says, "Only sometimes."

Even exhausted and grief stricken he's ridiculously good looking. I look like a dried up sea hag, and he's a little more than a ten minute nap away from being camera ready. It's disgusting.

"Still you're better than me." A coughing fit hits me hard and I turn away so I don't cough all over him. The whiskey is also starting to go to my head.

"Don't worry about it," he says when I stop coughing.

"Sorry. Hopefully you don't leave with this as a parting gift." I clear my throat and trade in my whiskey for water. I really need to go lie down. I'm supposed to be going to the funeral home with Jake's parents at ten.

"It'd be the least I could do if giving it to me gave you relief," he says. "That made no sense, did it? Whiskey on an empty stomach was a bad idea."

"Yeah, I'm thinking the same thing. If you don't mind, I'm going to try and get some sleep. I'm going with Dell and Channing to the funeral home this morning and I don't want to be any more of a mess than I already am."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, you don't have to. I think we'll be okay."

"Sookie, I know you and I haven't always gotten along, but if you need anything at all while I'm here, I'll do it," he says.

I give him a genuine smile, albeit a small one, and say, "Thank you, Eric. I appreciate it. Help yourself to anything you want. There are fresh towels in the hall closet and your room is the one across from the bathroom down here."

"Okay," he nods. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Sweet dreams," I say, and then head for my bedroom.

I close the door behind me and go to the en suite to brush my teeth and do my other bedtime stuff. Afterward I set my alarm to make sure I'm up at eight, only about two hours from now. Physically, I'm completely drained. I honestly don't know how I'm even awake. When I crawl into bed I hug Jake's pillow and yet another batch of tears hit me.

He's never going to sleep in this bed again.

He's never going to twirl my hair around his fingers until I fall asleep.

He's never going to whisper to me about his day.

I'll never again wake up and see his face first thing.

He's gone. He's really gone.

**EPOV**

It's hard for me to try to sleep in Jake's house knowing he's never going to be able to do just that ever again. I keep thinking about all the fun shit we've done in this place. The last time I was here was over Christmas, and that was when he told me he and Sookie were trying for a baby. I had been so happy for him. No matter how much I didn't want kids, or to settle down, I knew it was something that made Jake happy. He was just that kind of guy. He could have had a great career playing pro ball, but he gave it up to be with the love of his life. And to him, he wasn't giving up anything.

I wasn't totally sure what it was about Sookie that had always made her annoying to me. At first it was that Jake spent all his time with her. Then it was how freaking nice she was, to _everyone_. It was like she didn't have a cynical bone in her body and I just didn't understand that. I felt like, by settling down with her, Jake gave up his prime years. He should have been out there getting tail, living it up, sowing his oats. And now he's dead.

But maybe I had it wrong. Jake was always happy when I talked to him. He was always more in love with Sookie than ever, and always excited to be near her. I remember asking him once why he hadn't set a wedding date if he loved her so much. He said, "If it's not broke, don't fix it. We'll get there when we get there. We're happy the way we are." I didn't understand it then. I still don't understand it now. I thought that was the point, you fall in love, you get married, pop out some kids, and then you get divorced. But Jake was happy knowing he'd be with Sookie the rest of his life, married or not. I had no idea what it was like to be that secure in a relationship.

By the time the sun comes up, I still haven't gotten much sleep so I get up and shower before going to the kitchen to make coffee. Not really surprising to me, but Sookie is already at the table with a mug in front of her. She's sitting there looking like she's somewhere else, so I go to the coffee pot and pour myself a cup before joining her.

"Morning," I say, and she jumps a little.

"Morning," she rasps. Her eyes are red and puffy, as is her nose. She coughs a little and then closes her eyes.

"Didn't sleep either?"

"For about twenty minutes," she says. "It's a good thing Channing is picking me up. I don't think I should drive anywhere."

"Probably not," I say and sip my coffee. "Is there anything you need me to do today?"

"No, I don't think so. I have to go through our pictures when I get home and I have to... I have to pick a suit." Sookie starts to hyperventilate as her tears come again.

I reach over and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, breathe," I say. "One thing at a time. I'll help. Would you like me to pick out a suit?"

Sookie nods while she tries to get her composure back. The deep breaths send her into another coughing fit. I rub her back through it, and wait for it to subside before speaking again.

"If you want, I can help you pick out pictures later. With whiskey aid if you want."

"No, I just want to get it done and try to get some sleep. I'm so tired and everything hurts. I keep thinking this has to be a bad fever dream, that my brain is slowly cooking and it's fucking with my reality in terrible ways."

"I thought your brother was joking until I looked at Jake's Facebook," I admitted. "It still doesn't feel real."

"I don't know what I'm going to do without him, Eric. My life has been with him for so long that I don't know what it's like to be without him anymore."

"I know," I say. "I don't know what to say that will help you. I guess you should try to find comfort in knowing that he loved you with everything he had the whole time he was with you. You made him so incredibly happy, Sookie."

She gives me a tearful smile and says, "Quit being nice to me. It's weird."

"Oh come on, I'm not that much of a dick to you, am I?"

"Eric, you offered to pay for a divorce lawyer if Jake came to his senses."

"That's just being a good best friend," I smile.

"Jerk."

"Seriously though, that shit was more about my issues than his. He never would have needed a divorce lawyer if he married you," I say. "Shit... you weren't married."

"No," she says quietly, her eyes on her coffee mug.

"I just mean what about insurance? Will you still be okay? Like his property and everything. I have a great lawyer if you need him."

"I'm the beneficiary on his life insurance through work, so the funeral will be covered. But since we weren't married his debts fall on his parents, I think. We have money saved up so I can help some with that. It's mostly leftover school loans. We were good about not buying too much on credit. I'm not sure what'll happen with the house. It's in both of our names and there are plenty of years left on the mortgage," she sighs and rubs her eyes.

"If you get in a tough spot with any of it, I can help," I say.

"That's generous of you, Eric, but I can't take-"

"Yes you can," I interrupt her. "Jake would have done the same for me."

She nods, but says nothing else.

"How much time do you have before Channing gets here?"

"He should be here anytime now."

"Would you mind if I went along?" I ask.

Sookie looks thoughtful for a moment before she says, "I know he was your best friend, but Jake made it pretty clear to me what he wanted. After his grandfather died last year we had a really long, morbid conversation about this. I'd rather just go in and get it over with."

It hurts a little that she doesn't want me to be there, but mostly because I feel like I don't know what to do. Being a part of it would help me feel like I'm contributing. But I understand why she doesn't want me to go.

"Alright," I nod. "Is there anything around here I can be doing?"

"No, I don't think so. Mom worked her cleaning magic yesterday and the after funeral lunch is going to be at Dell and Channing's house since it's bigger than this one."

"Okay. I um... I guess I'll find something to do. Maybe go into Merlotte's or something."

Sookie nods as there's a knock on the kitchen door, and then Channing sticks his head in.

"Knock, knock," he says, and then smiles when he sees me. "Eric, you made it."

I stand up and go over to shake his hand.

"Got in last night," I tell him.

Channing pulls me into a hug and says, "I'm glad you're here, son. It's good to see you."

I don't hesitate to hug him back, and try to blink back the tears. Jake looked so much like his dad.

"It's good to see you too," I say, and then we let go of each other.

"How are you doing, buttercup?" Channing looks at Sookie and his smile fades. She doesn't look good.

"Been better," she says, but tries to smile through it. "Let me just refill my mug and use the little girls' room and then we'll go."

"Take your time, buttercup. We're in no rush."

Sookie stands up slowly, like it's a chore for her to do it, and makes her way out of the kitchen to other parts of the house.

"She sleep at all last night?" Channing asks with concern. "We tried talkin' her into stayin' with her parents but she wouldn't hear a thing about it."

"I think she said she got about twenty minutes, if that," I say. "I'm not sure what I can do for her. It's like it's a comfort and a curse to be around all the memories with Jake here."

Channing nods. "It doesn't help that she's better at helping others than she is at letting someone help her. Jake used to get so frustrated about that," he says with a smile and tears in his eyes. He clears his throat, as is man protocol, and continues, "So how long will you be in town? Blondie and I would love to have you over for supper. Steph just had a baby." He pulls out a cell phone to show me pictures of his first grandchild. Maybe his only.

"She's beautiful," I smile at the pictures. "I plan to be here for a week, and then I have to get back. I'd love to have dinner with you guys. Maybe we can get Sookie to come along."

"I'll have Dell work on her," he winks and Sookie comes back a second later with her coat and shoes on.

"Have Dell work on who?" Sookie asks.

"It's nothing," I say. "Is there anything you need me to pick up while I'm in town?"

"Some more tea would be wonderful. I'm going through it like nothing," she says. "Oh, and maybe some vanilla ice cream, if it's not too much trouble."

"No trouble at all," I smile, happy to finally be able to help.

"Thank you," she says politely, and then opens one of the drawers. She plucks a keyring from it and tosses it to me. "Spare keys so you can come and go as you want."

"Thanks," I say. "Channing, I'm sure I'll be seeing you soon."

"Sure will," he nods. "You ready, buttercup?"

Sookie smiles and nods as well, and then they're off.

I dump our coffee and rinse out the mugs, then turn off the pot. I head back to my room to get dressed, then head out myself. It's too hard to be in that house alone.

* * *

**Chapter 3 is already posted on our wordpress account, so if you follow us there you'll get a daily update. There is a link to my account there on my profile. Otherwise you can search "brainmatesfic" and see what comes up. Thanks for reading, alerting, reviewing, etc. You guys rock!  
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	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Planning the services takes less time than I expect it to. Jake's parents, Channing and Blondell Purifoy, treat me like a daughter just like my parents treated Jake like a son. There's mutual respect and understanding for how hard this loss is for all of us and for different reasons. Burying the love of my life is hard, but I can't imagine how hard it must be to bury a child. The tear stains on Dell's face alone tell me of her deep, dark grief for the loss of her baby boy.

Reverend Delacroix meets us at the funeral home to help with the planning and offer spiritual support. We work together to pick out the coffin, flowers, music and readings and hymns for the service. I tell the reverend that Eric will be giving Jake's eulogy. I just hope the whole thing doesn't turn into a circus because he's famous, but most folks around these parts are more respectful than that.

It all goes by much quicker than I expect it to. The lack of food and sleep combined with the fever start to get to me, and as we're going out to the car my knees finally buckle. It's a dramatic moment that results in Channing calling 9-1-1.

Dell insists that I stay down until the paramedics can come take a look at me. My brother just happens to be driving by and whips around to pull into the parking lot. His truck is barely in park before he's on the ground next to me.

"What happened, sis?" he asks with concern.

"I had a spell. I'm fine."

"Oh honey, you're not fine." Dell smooths my hair back. "You're burning up. You should be home in bed."

I know I should, but there's too much to do. I can't put this off on everyone else. I'm not going to be one of those sad widows that can't function without her man. I resolve then to keep my grief to myself. Even if it kills me, I'm going to smile my way through all of this because it's what I should do. I'm going to move with grace and be the good hostess my Mama raised me to be.

**xXx**

Seven hours later I finally get home. The paramedics brought me in because I was severely dehydrated. My doctor prescribed some medication, including a sedative so I could get some sleep. I'm not the kind of person that likes to take pills like that but I know if I don't get some rest I'm going to end up back in the hospital.

"When's the last time you ate anything?" Jason asks me once I'm back in the house.

It's still Thursday, I think.

"Yesterday morning, I think…"

"Jesus, Sook. Are you trying to make sure you end up in the ground next to Jake?" Jase demands angrily.

I glare at him but don't dignify that with a response.

"I'm making you something to eat and I'm gonna make sure you eat it all," he says. "Now get comfy on the couch and I'll bring it to you."

"Yes sir," I sigh. I'm too tired to fight, and frankly I know he's right.

I lay down on the couch and pull a blanket down over me. Eric's rental car wasn't outside when we pulled up to the house. I remember the suit he said he'd pick out and I wonder if he actually did it. I'd go look in the closet, but I'm sure Jase would kick my ass for going anywhere but the bathroom.

With the extra fluids in my system, I feel better. Maybe a good night's sleep will go a long way to healing me. On the way home Jase intentionally drove a different way so we wouldn't pass the Grab-It-Kwik. I know I'm going to have to pass it eventually. Maudette is still in intensive care, according to Channing, but she's on life support and the doctors aren't optimistic about her prognosis.

Thankfully, the police haven't been in my face since the sheriff came to give me the news. Because it was a random crime, they're not digging into Jake's personal life to see if he had any enemies. Not that he had any. He was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I hear the microwave ding when it finishes cooking, and a minute later Jase is bringing in a bowl of chicken and dumplings Aunt Linda made for me, along with a big glass of apple juice.

"Here," he hands me the bowl when I sit up, and sets the juice on the end table.

"Thanks, Jase," I smile at him, and stir the contents of the bowl.

"You're going to eat it all," he says with determination.

"I'll do my best," I promise and take a bite.

It's delicious. Aunt Linda is a great cook. Always has been. Jason goes back to the kitchen and I hear him on the phone. I can't make out what he's saying, but then it's none of my business. While he talks, I eat and channel surf until I settle on the Food Network. Normally I'd watch _Bones_ reruns, but given my current state of mind it's not really a good idea.

So I watch Iron Chef Symon battle a French chef from New Orleans in battle coffee while I eat one of my favorite comfort foods. The TV does wonders to quiet my mind and I don't realize how much I've eaten until my bowl is empty. Surprisingly, I want more.

"You're done," Jase says with a smile when he comes into the living room.

"I think I want seconds."

His smile grows. "Coming right up."

While he's warming up more food for me the front door open and Eric walks into the house. He doesn't really look like the clean-cut celebrity I'm used to seeing on TV these days. He obviously never shaved today so he's got some scruff coming in, plus he's wearing sunglasses (despite the sun having gone down already) and a beanie that covers his ridiculously awesome hair. It really isn't fair for a guy to have hair that nice. Don't get me started on his damn eyelashes.

"Hey," I wave to him from the couch and then realize I still have a hospital bracelet on my wrist. Shit. "Jase, bring the scissors with you please!"

"Did you go to the hospital?" he asks, and sets the grocery bag he's carrying on the floor before rushing over to me.

"It was no big deal. I was just a little dehydr–"

"She fainted," Jason cut me off. "I was driving by the funeral home and saw her fall out in the parking lot."

"I'm fine," I insist. "They gave me some fluids and medicine. I'll get a good night's sleep tonight and I'll be even better in the morning."

"I know you feel like you need to be strong for everyone right now, but you need to take care of yourself too," Eric says.

"Thanks, Mom," I smirk, and hold up my wrist so Jason can cut off my wristband for me. Then he hands me a replenished bowl. "Thanks, Jase. You don't have to stick around. Eric's here to keep me in line now."

My brother narrows his eyes at me and says, "Quit acting like you're a burden, got it? Or I'll kick your ass when you're back to full strength."

He's a good brother.

Eric stands up and goes to get the grocery bag, then disappears into the kitchen. Jason follows behind him and I can hear them whispering, presumably about me, but when they're done Jase has his coat on.

"You only need one nanny at a time, so I'm out. If you need anything you call me," he says.

"I'm sure I'll be fine, but yes, I'll call. Thank you, Jason."

He stoops down to give me a hug, then nods at Eric who is standing behind the couch, and then he leaves.

"So, you're my night nurse, huh?" I joke.

"Yes ma'am," he says. "But if you're okay for now I'd like to go pick out Jake's suit."

My smile fades and I nod. "The funeral home is busy tomorrow already, so the wake will be the day after. Would you mind dropping the suit off for me? I'd really like to spend the day at home getting my strength up."

"Of course," he nods. "I'll be back in a few."

"I'll be here." I resist the urge to follow him, to make the decision myself. I can let Eric do this. He didn't have to give up his busy schedule to be here. I know Jake was his best friend but Eric's life is pretty much on an entirely different planet than ours. Honestly, I'm surprised that he's toned it down and resisted the compulsion to be a pain in my ass like he usually is.

But it does make me smile to think of him and Jake together. They complimented each other well, which is probably why they were best friends from the time they were little kids. Eric could be a bad influence and get Jake into trouble, whereas Jake could be a grounder for Eric to keep his head from getting too far in the clouds. I wonder, without Jake's gentle guidance, who Eric will become on his own. Has he truly learned from the things Jake's tried to teach him, or was he just placating his friend to keep the lectures to a minimum?

I return my attention to the TV just in time to see Chef Symon win the battle.

**EPOV**

Picking out the suit my best friend will be buried in is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. He doesn't have many suits, but they're all in good condition. I can feel the tears falling from my eyes, but I don't try to stop them. I decide on his black suit with a light blue shirt and a blue tie. He told me back when we were in high school that Sookie's favorite color on him was blue, so he tried to wear it as often as possible for her. Once I have it all picked out, I carry it over to my room so Sookie won't have to see it. I go back out to the living room and see Sookie staring at the television.

"Um, Sookie? Where did Jake keep his dress shoes?" I ask gently. "I just… I know they don't normally put shoes on, but he'd feel weird wearing a suit with no shoes."

"Yes, he would," she agrees, and then gets up to get them for me.

I follow her back to their bedroom and she digs them out of the back of the closet. They look almost brand new.

"He only wore them once for the football banquet at the end of the season," she says with a wistful smile on her face. "He wasn't much of a dancer, but he insisted I stand on his toes for some strange reason I'll never understand. That was Jake, though. He had his quirks."

I smile and say, "That sounds like Jake."

Sookie reluctantly hands over his shoes. "It's weird that I don't want to give them up, right? It shouldn't matter, but I look at the tops of them and I can see the scuffs from my shoes and it reminds me…" she trails off, her eyes watering again.

"It's okay," I say, and set the shoes aside so I can hug her. "You'll always have those memories, Sookie. And I'll tell them not to buff the shoes so you'll know your scuff marks will always be there."

She nods, but cries a little harder at that.

"If you want to talk about it, I'm all ears," I say.

She sniffles a few times and lifts her head slowly. "It's just memories, you know? Little things that seem so trivial or forgettable when they happen, but then they come back in flashes. Like little blitz attacks. They're crippling."

"I know what you mean," I say and rub her back gently.

Sookie wipes her eyes and apologizes for her little breakdown before she pulls away from me and goes into the bathroom, gently closing the door behind her.

It's strange to me to be so nice to her. It's not that I ever hated her, but most of our time together was spent trading barbs and rolling our eyes. But I know that I can't be that way now. She needs someone that understands, and I know that I'm that person. His parents lost someone too, and his sister, but it's a different kind of loss for them than it is for Sookie and me.

I pick up Jake's shoes and take them out to my car, careful not to mess up the scuff marks on them. It seems a little silly, but it's important to Sookie. When I get back inside, she's still in the bathroom so I go into the kitchen to find something to eat. I picked at a burger when I went to Merlotte's earlier and I knew I needed to eat or I'd end up collapsing like Sookie. I reheat a baked mac and cheese dish and take my plate to the living room. Sookie's back, and her eyes are puffy and red again, but she's sitting there watching TV.

"So what are we watching?" I ask.

"_Chopped_. It's mindless and generally not violent unless someone cuts themselves. If it wouldn't piss me off I'd put on a Disney movie."

"You could put on one of my shows and make fun of me," I suggest.

"That's what my blog is for," she cracks a smile.

"Seriously?"

"Maybe."

"Oh that is just mean," I laugh.

"Even bad publicity is good publicity, right?"

"Wait, do you interact with my fans online?"

Sookie looks at me with… I don't even know what the word is. Amusement, maybe.

"Eric, please. I have way better things to do with my time than entertain the fantasies of delusional fangirls hoping for juicy morsels of information about your private life. I may not be your best friend, but I would never sell you out like that," she says.

"Oh I didn't think you'd sell me out, I trust you," I say. "I was just hoping you could tell me some stories about the crazies."

"I have a few. I get messages on Facebook mostly. Teenage girls wanting to know if you have a girlfriend you're not public about, or where you like to hang out and silly stuff like that. I don't answer them, though."

"How do they even know you know me? Is it girls from around here?"

"Some, but Jake never privatized his page so since we're mutual friends…" she trails off.

"Got it," I nodded. "Do you ever think it won't hurt to think about him?"

"Previous experience with death tells me that a time will come with the hurt will be less, but I don't know if it will ever truly go away," she says quietly.

"You know… if there comes a time where you need to get away from here for a while, my door is always open. I've got plenty of room, and I'm near the beach."

"I remember," she smiles a little. "I might just take you up on it. We'll see."

"Anytime you want to. You have my assistant's number, just call him and he'll book the tickets."

"Okay." Sookie looks a little uncomfortable, but keeps smiling anyway.

"Did you get enough to eat?" I ask and take another bite of my macaroni.

"Yes, I'm sufficiently stuffed. I ate two bowls of chicken and dumplings, so I think I'm going to take a sedative in a little bit and go to bed."

"Do you need to be up at a certain time tomorrow?"

"Nope. Dell and Channing are insisting I take the day off to get myself better so I know if I even try to go over to their house they won't let me in. If you're looking for things to do, you could go over there. They'll probably keep you busy."

"Channing said I should come for dinner one night. Will you be feeling up to it tomorrow night?"

"We'll see how I'm feeling tomorrow."

"That's cool," I nod. "I'll do my best to stay out of your hair tomorrow."

"I'll probably be sleeping for most of the day. I'm going to change my outgoing message on my cell phone so people call my parents instead of me."

"Good idea."

"I thought so." Sookie yawns and then hits a button the remote to see what time it is. "Wow, not even nine. I think I'm going to go take a bath and go to bed. Are you okay on your own?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," I say. "I'll try not to make too much noise."

"I'm sure the medicine will knock me out, but thanks. Sleep well whenever you get to bed," she says, and hands over the remote before she gets up.

"I will, thanks," I say. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Sookie offers a small smile and then heads up to the master bedroom.

I hear the door close and then the water start to fill the tub. Usually when I visit and Sookie goes to bed, Jake and I stay up for hours talking and telling stories. He kept me grounded, and I hoped not having him around wouldn't send me into a tailspin. I feel a sudden urge to get everything out, so I shut off the TV and go to my room to grab my laptop.

It's time to write my best friend's eulogy.

* * *

**I know these chapters have been sad and they will be for a few more. Chapter 5 is up on WordPress right now so once again, if you aren't following us there you definitely should. There's a link to the account in my profile. If you can't access it just google search "brainmatesfic" and a link will pop up for our blog. As always, thanks to everyone for reading, reviewing, alerting, etc. Have a great weekend!**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

My day of rest does me a lot of good. Eric made himself scarce for most of the day. Tara came by to keep me company. The dance studio is going to be closed until Monday, but I imagine most of our clients will be at the funeral along with the majority of the town. That's the thing about small towns—when someone dies, everyone feels the loss, regardless of how well they actually knew the person that passed on.

Jake didn't die of natural causes or a terminal illness. His end was violent, sudden and not the usual for Bon Temps. I think in the whole history of the town there's probably a dozen murders on the books. Things like this just don't happen here on a regular basis. Tara tells me there are rumors going around that the police has a 'person of interest' they're looking at over in Hot Shot. That doesn't surprise me one bit.

Like the rest of us, Tara's not really affected by Eric's presence in town. To us, he's just Eric. He's the same guy that played football with our brothers or friends and chased every skirt in town until it wasn't fun for him anymore and he had to move on. It's actually a little weird that he's famous.

We veg out on the couch together with the ice cream Eric picked up and a pie. Calories be damned. At her insistence, we're watching _Dirty Dancing_, her favorite movie.

"Eric bought the good shit," she says as she takes a big bite of her ice cream.

"Are you surprised?" I take another bite of the Dutch apple pie that's been calling my name for two days.

It's nice to be hungry again.

"Not at all. That boy always did like the finer things."

"Then it's a good thing he makes the kind of money that can support his habits. He offered to fly me out to California if I want to get out of here for a while," I tell her.

"Oh wow," she says. "Are you going to take him up on that? He'd probably get you out there first class and everything."

"Probably. I mean, the first class thing. I don't know if staying with him is a good idea. It was a nice offer, though."

"Why wouldn't it be a good idea? He was Jake's best friend."

"Because Eric and I drive each other crazy, that's why. We're tolerating each other right now because we're too preoccupied to remember why we can't stand each other, but that'll fade."

"Doesn't he have a guest house? You could probably manage to go out there and never see him."

"Yeah, he does. His house is just… Tara, it's almost obscene. It's just him living there but I swear it's big enough to almost be a small compound. What does a single person need with all that room?" I shove another bite of pie in my face.

"Maybe he wants to fill it with kids one day," she shrugged. "Or he's compensating for lack of penis."

I nearly choke on my pie at either of her guesses. I can't imagine Eric with kids, at least not without having different mothers and I can't imagine Eric doing well with baby mama drama either.

"According to him he's not lacking anything," I tell her when I stop coughing and get my food down the right pipe.

"Yeah, he's never been shy about that," she grins.

"And just in case you're wondering, no, I've never seen _it_."

"I wasn't. I didn't think he'd stoop so low as to show it to girls like us."

"Oh he'd do it to me just for the shock value."

"He's a fool," she shakes her head.

"Generally yes, but he's been nice to me since he got here so we'll see how long it lasts."

"He's not going to be mean to you."

"Not with Jase and Jake's parents around anyway. But seriously, I know this is hard on him too. He's giving Jake's eulogy. That's got to be hard. I know I couldn't do it. I thought about writing something and asking Jase to read it for me but I don't know… I think it might get a little too personal and I don't need to put that much of my private life out there. Not in this town, anyway."

"You could write something and read it to Jake yourself," she suggests. "Maybe after…"

"I could," I agree. "We'll see. I'll probably end up back in the cemetery when everything is over with. Then I'll end up in the hospital with pneumonia."

"You need to take care of yourself."

"That's what I'm doing," I smile. "I got a good night's sleep last night and I've been taking it easy all day. I'm dreading picking out what I'm going to wear tomorrow. I think I might wear blue."

"Jake always liked you in blue," she smiles.

"Yeah, we had that in common."

"Have you picked out his suit?"

"Eric did."

"That's good," she nodded.

"He wants to help. I get it, but there's not a whole lot for him to do. It'd be different if Channing and Dell weren't around, but they are so…"

"He probably needs to feel like he's being useful."

I nod. "He was excited I asked for ice cream and tea yesterday so, yeah, I'd say so."

"I'm surprised he came out here so quickly."

"So am I. I'm even more surprised he hasn't been at Merlotte's the whole time."

"Why?"

"Because if I wasn't sick I'd probably be hammered right now myself."

"Is he there now?" she asks.

"I don't know where he is. I know he was planning to go over to Jake's parents' house, but I don't know if he's still there. He's got keys so he can come and go as he pleases."

"Good idea," she says, and takes the last bite of her pie.

"You know, I'm surprised he didn't come with a date. I thought for sure he was going to bring someone with him."

"Why would you think that? He doesn't stick with his vages for long."

"Yeah, but funerals do funny things to people. You know, the need to reaffirm life and all that, and you know he's not going to hookup with someone from around here. A random source would be running to the first tabloid interested in hearing all about his latest love connection."

"Then maybe he's just here to grieve, sans life affirming sex."

"Stranger things have happened, I guess," I shrug.

We finish the movie about forty-five minutes later and after Tara helps me clean up the few dishes from our pig out, she heads home for the night. I go upstairs to my bedroom and look through my dress options for the next day. I have a few black dresses, but they aren't really appropriate for a funeral. The dress I wore for the football banquet, however, would look nice. I bought it just for that occasion and I haven't worn it since.

It makes sense to me to retire it along with Jake's fancy new shoes.

Eric never showed me which suit he picked, but since Jake only owned three, I know he took the black one. I lift my hand to touch the dark blue one he wore for the banquet, and my ring sparkles in the dim closet light. I guess it's an engagement ring, but Jake never really proposed to me. We just knew that marriage was in the cards for us when it felt right. We talked about it from time to time, but in my heart I was already committed to him. The rest was just paperwork.

Our parents had been surprised but delighted when we told them we were trying to get pregnant. I knew the old fashioned part of my father really wanted us to get married first, but he's smart enough to know that once I've made up my mind about something I'm not likely to change it. Jake and I agreed that marriage wasn't something mandatory for starting a family.

Someday, probably for the sake of our children, we'd tie the knot.

But I look at my ring and I know this is this closest I'll ever come to a wedding ring. I can't take it off. Not yet. I'm not ready.

I get my outfit together for the wake and then head to the bathroom to take a long, hot bath before bed.

**xXx**

The next morning my alarm wakes me up at just after eight. I have no idea when, or if, Eric came home the night before. After my bath I got into bed just fine without a sedative. My fever is gone and the coughing has calmed down considerably. I'm breathing a little easier, all things considered, but the first thing I do when I get up is take the next dose of medication my doctor prescribed for me. I plug in my straightening iron, but don't turn it on.

First things first. I need coffee. As soon as I'm finished in the bathroom I go down to the kitchen. I need to bring some of the food over to Jake's parents' house before the wake so it's one less thing to do tomorrow or later tonight after the wake is over. I imagine by the time it's all done tonight I'm just going to want to crawl into bed and cry myself to sleep.

I get the coffee going and then start to rummage around in the fridge to make something for breakfast. My appetite has returned full force. Good thing too, because I don't need to end up back in the hospital after another fainting spell. I'm in the middle of scrambling some eggs when I hear Eric's bedroom door open. He comes stumbling into my kitchen looking like shit and judging by the smell of him he had a few too many last night.

"Morning," I say, and immediately he stops and closes his eyes. He sways a little like the sound of my voice has stunned him into an unfortunate reality he was hoping to avoid. I lower my voice and whisper, "Coffee's almost ready."

He nods and then turns on the water. Eric doesn't bother with a glass, but rather lowers his head and drinks directly from the faucet. Jesus, how fucked up did he get last night? If I see his rental car in the driveway I'm going to kick his ass for driving drunk.

Eric straightens up, rubs his eyes and then finally looks at me. His eyes don't seem to be focusing well until they land on my chest and I suddenly remember I'm not wearing a bra under the tank top I slept in. I clear my throat and he groans while grabbing his head.

Good. Serves him right.

**EPOV**

My head is killing me, and I immediately regret getting fucked up last night. I spent most of the day with Jake's family and had dinner with them, but after dinner I went to Merlotte's and started drinking. The day with his family was good, but it was a lot of reminiscing and by the time I left I felt like shit. I just wanted to get fucked up and feel numb.

There were some old friends of mine there that started drinking with me and before I knew it I was three sheets to the wind and Sam was driving me back to Sookie's house. I have no idea what time I got home.

Now I'm standing in Sookie's kitchen wondering why everything is so fucking bright and loud.

"Fuck, when did I get old?" I grumble.

"Judging by your smell, about the time you and Señor Patrón became pals," Sookie says, and hands over a mug of black coffee.

"You don't have to shout," I say as I take the coffee from her. "Thank you."

Sookie doesn't adjust her volume. "You're welcome. There's extra strength Tylenol in your bathroom if you're interested. Breakfast will be ready in about half an hour if you want to go lay down."

"Yeah," I say. "I'm just gonna take a shower and I'll be fine."

"Okay."

I go back to my bedroom to grab some clean clothes, then take my coffee to the bathroom. Tylenol comes first, and after I take it I finish the coffee then hop in the shower. It feels even better than I expected it to and I don't really want to get out, but then I smell bacon. I reluctantly get out of the shower after cleaning up, and pull on a fresh pair of flannel pants and a t-shirt. At home I go shirtless, but Jake always threatened to kick my ass if I didn't act respectable around Sookie. That meant no partial nudity.

Once I'm dressed I can feel the Tylenol kicking in, and I head back out to the kitchen. Sookie is just setting food out on the table.

"Please tell me you cooked like ten pounds of bacon," I say as I sit down.

"Almost. Need more coffee?" Sookie pulls a pan of biscuits out of the oven.

"Yes please," I say. "Why don't you have drapes over your kitchen windows?"

"Because sunlight is my friend," she says in an annoyingly cheerful voice that makes me want to… nevermind.

"You're evil."

Sookie refills my coffee cup and says, "I'm giving you a guaranteed hangover cure. I'm far from evil. Evil would be downloading polka music and playing it on the surround sound while I vacuum."

"Touche."

Sookie goes back to the stove and piles eggs, bacon, sausage and hashbrowns onto a plate before bringing it over to me with a fork.

"Want honey with your biscuits?" she offers.

"Fuckyes I do," I say.

She snorts and goes back to grab the biscuits, butter and a jar of honey. Sookie sets it all on the table and then goes back to the stove to serve herself.

"Did the shower help?"

"Yeah, and the Tylenol," I say as I pick up my fork. "Do I still smell?"

"Not in a bad way."

"Good," I nod, and take a huge bite. I groan and don't waste time shoveling half my plate into my mouth.

"Whoa, calm down there, killer. There's more on the stove," Sookie says as she settles down at the table next to me with much less on her plate than there is on mine.

"It's good," I say with my mouth full. So much for being respectable.

She shakes her head and reaches for a biscuit.

"How late were you out last night?" she asks.

"I have no idea. I remember Sam driving me here."

"So probably around four," she says, and adds, "Merlotte's closes around two on Fridays, but Sam usually cleans up before driving anyone home. He likes to get a little coffee into the drunks before sending them out."

"Smart of him," I say. Once my plate is clean I tear into the biscuits with honey. "I should make you come cook for me in L.A."

"Make me?" Sookie raises an eyebrow.

"Ask you," I correct myself.

"Mmhmm…" Sookie takes smaller bites of her food than I do mine, pausing to sip her coffee or drizzle more honey on her biscuit.

"Can I get more?" I ask.

"Have at it. I'm good here."

"Thanks," I say, and get up to fill my plate again. My trainer is going to be pissed at me when I get back, but fuck if I care. By the time I finish again Sookie is finally finished eating what little she'd put on her plate. I figure it's as good a time as any to bring up the eulogy.

"I uh… I wrote Jake's eulogy," I say. "Do you want to read it beforehand?"

"I can if you'd like me to, but it's entirely up to you." Sookie seems uncomfortable, but that's understandable.

"It's really up to you. I just didn't know if you wanted to approve it or not."

"No, I don't need to approve it. You might have questionable judgment sometimes, but I know you wouldn't use Jake's funeral to air out any dirty laundry or grievances," she says, and sips her coffee. "Besides, you should say whatever it is that's in your heart to say."

"I did," I say. "And no, I didn't air anything."

"Jake didn't have much to air," she smiles. "He lived pretty openly."

"He was a great guy."

"Yes, he was." Sookie stands up and takes her dirty dishes to the sink to start cleaning up.

I pick up my dishes too and take them over to her, then pick up a towel to help dry and put them away.

"What are you doing?" Sookie looks at me like I've got three heads.

"Helping?"

"Since when do you do domestic work?"

"Oh come on, I'm not that much of an asshole, am I?"

"Eric, I have _never_ once seen you lift a finger to help with stuff like this before. Forgive me for being a little surprised."

"Well I'm helping now," I say, and hold my hand out for the clean, wet dish in her hands.

"Alright." Sookie hands the dish over to me.

She doesn't raise a fuss through the rest of the dishes, and once the kitchen is clean I realize that I feel a lot better.

"So what time does everything start?"

"The wake starts at two for everyone else, but I have to be there at one. It's going to be closed casket for obvious reasons. Channing had to go do the identification…" she trails off, and clears her throat before she can start crying again. "I told Dell I would help her bring snacks and refreshments over, plus there's the pictures and things to set up before the doors open to the public. If you'd like to come early, that would be okay."

"Yeah, I would," I say. "I want to help."

"Okay. I plan to be ready to go by quarter to one," she says.

"I'll be ready by then too."

"Okay. I've got a few things to do upstairs so if you need me, you know where to find me."

"Alright," I say, and once she leaves I head out to the porch to make a couple phone calls.

**xXx**

At a quarter to one I'm ready and waiting by the front door. I'm wearing a suit, and what we're about to do hits me like a ton of bricks. I feel guilty for being the one still alive. Jake had so many plans, and he deserved to get to live them out.

When Sookie walks down the steps in her dress I can't help but think that she looks beautiful. I always understood why Jake was attracted to her; she is a gorgeous girl. The blue of her dress makes her eyes pop, and I smile at the idea of her wearing blue to a wake. Jake would have loved her even more for it.

"You ready?" I ask when she reaches the bottom of the stairs.

"As I'll ever be," she says, and goes to the coat closet for a black trench coat.

"Would you like me to drive?"

"Please." Sookie puts her coat on.

I hold the door open for her and gesture for her to go ahead of me. We load into my car and I pull out of the drive.

"Is there anyone you don't want to see today?" I ask. "I can run interference."

"No, I think I'll be okay. I'm not worried about anyone starting drama."

"Things have changed then."

"We're not in high school anymore," she says quietly.

"Yeah…"

We're quiet after that, and when we get to the funeral home Sookie gets out of the car and heads in quickly. I'm not sure if I upset her or not, but I hope not. She has more than enough on her plate. I get out and head in, and immediately see Channing.

"Hey, Channing," I say. He's looking at the pictures, and I resist the urge to look too. Sometimes it's too hard to remember the happy times at first.

He looks up and says, "Hello." He's not as animated and social as he was the day before.

"You doing okay?" I ask as I put my hand on his shoulder.

"For now," he says. "The day is still young and my flask is still full." He pats his chest.

"There's an idea I wish I had."

"I'm sure we can work something out later on," he assures me. "How are you doing?"

"I'm holding up," I say. "Sookie has been eating and she got some rest last night. She seems to be feeling better. At least when it comes to the cold."

"That's good. One thing at a time, right?"

"Yeah, that's about all we can do."

Dell calls to him so he excuses himself and leaves me standing in front of a wall of pictures of Jake from all different times in his life. There are several pictures of him with me from when we were kids, and I smile at those memories. We didn't have a damn care in the world back then. Then there's the pictures from high school, and those quickly begin to include Sookie. Those pictures make me sad and angry. Not because she's in them, but because it's incredibly obvious how happy he was. She made him happy and whole, and they both knew they were lucky to have found it so fast.

I wasn't sure I believed in the kind of love they had, but they did. Because of that, they deserved to have been able to continue on. They were going to have babies and make the most wonderful parents. I could have easily seen Jake tossing a football around with a son or a daughter. He would have been a fantastic parent, and I'm pissed that he was robbed of that chance. Before I know it I feel hot tears in my eyes again, and I tear them away from the photos. I have to find something else to do before I lose it.

* * *

**Chapter 7 is up on WordPress right now so if you can't wait for another update follow the link on my profile to get to our blog there! Thanks for reading!  
**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I hate the smell of funeral homes. Stale coffee, dying flowers, too many perfumes and the oppressive smell of grief all mix together to create one unpleasant perfume. Eau de Morte. I'm standing near the coffin in the beginning of the afternoon, and it doesn't take long for the funeral home to fill up with coworkers, friends, family, kids from the high school that he taught or coached… Jake was popular for so many reasons. He touched a lot of lives.

My parents are close by, standing with Dell and Channing while the four of them talk to the reverend about the service that will conclude the wake later on tonight. Eric is talking to my brother and Sam a few feet away. The room is crowded, and yet I feel completely alone. I hate feeling like this. In the fantasy playing out in my mind, Jake will walk into the room any minute with a cup of bad coffee and put his hand on the small of my back while he whispers something silly in my ear to make me smile just so I'll stop frowning.

Of course that doesn't happen, and I continue to feel like I'm alone in a crowd.

I make small talk with members of Jake's family and some of my old teachers from high school who became his coworkers. There are a few teenage girls pointing in Eric's direction and whispering. I see more cell phones out than is appropriate for a funeral, and I photobomb every single one of their pictures when I can. How fucking rude!

Eric catches on to what I'm seeing and he promptly turns his back so there are no pictures to be taken. This pisses me off for so many reasons. Not only is it disrespectful to Jake, but it's disrespectful to Eric as well. He's here because he lost his best friend, not to regale the mourners with tales of his fabulous life in Hollywood. It's such an awful invasion of his privacy and I find myself disgusted with those girls.

Lucky for me, I know who their mothers are.

But eventually I need a break from it all so I go to the bathroom. After that I get a cup of bad coffee and take it outside with me. I step through a cloud of cigarette smoke and walk around the building, burrowing into my jacket for warmth. I can't wait for spring. More than that, I hope the weather reports for the next day are accurate. Heavy clouds are predicted and I've always felt it inappropriate to bury someone on a sunny day.

I take a few deep breaths to clear the smell of death flowers from my nose, but I'm not alone for long.

"I'm sorry about those girls," Eric says.

"It's not your fault. I'm sorry people have so little respect for your privacy," I tell him, and I mean it. I know he knows he has to give up a certain amount of it as part of the bargain, but there has to be limits and those girls have crossed the line.

"I'm used to it," he shrugs. "I still wanted to smash all their phones."

"Don't worry; I know their mothers," I smile.

"Good," he smiles back. "You holding up alright?"

"About as well as can be expected, I suppose. I just needed a little fresh air." I sip my coffee and grimace. Jesus, this stuff is awful. "I should have brought booze with me. This coffee is… ugh."

"I think if you ask Channing nicely, he'll let you take a swig from his flask."

"It may come to that. We'll see. I guess it depends on how many more autograph hounds turn up."

I hear a sudden burst of laughter come from the crowd of smokers around the corner and it makes me happy that they've got something to laugh about. I wonder if they're talking about Jake or if it's some other random topic. So far I've mostly smiled and nodded along with people's stories. I have too many of my own floating around in my head.

"Sookie?" I hear Jason calling me and I peek around the corner so he can see me standing there. "Sook, Jake's team is here. They brought something for you."

"Alright. I'll be in directly." I finish off my sludge and start around the corner, but then stop. "Are you coming in or staying out here for a while?"

"I'll come in."

Eric follows me inside and after I hang up my jacket, I go back into the room where the wake is being held. I see Jake's team all lined up, dressed nicely in suits with their hair washed, faces shaven and looking properly mournful.

"Hey, boys," I say when I get to them. "Thank you for coming."

"Of course, Mrs. P." They all call me that even though they know Jake and I weren't married. "We uh, we thought you might want to have this."

I'm handed a specially made jersey with Jake's old number on the back. It's signed by all of his team members and it makes my eyes well. It's the sweetest thing anyone's done for me today, and I try not to cry all over it.

"Thank you," I croak out. "Jake always said how proud of you all he was, whether you won or lost. He was honored to be your coach and had high hopes for you all going forward. Don't let him down."

"Yes, ma'am," they say in unison.

The boys all nod and I want to hug them all, but I settle for patting their shoulders as they pass me instead. Eric puts a hand on my shoulder as well and hands me a tissue so I can dab my eyes. Channing and Dell come over and I show them the jersey. It gets them going as well, and I add it to the collection of Jake memorabilia at the back of the room.

Tara arrives a few minutes later and she takes up a post with me near the front of the room. I try not to pay too much attention to curious, starstruck onlookers that gawk or stare at Eric. At one point a particularly unscrupulous girl musters up the guts to approach Eric for an autograph.

"Can you believe this?" I nudge Tara and nod in Eric's direction.

He's talking with Jason and Sam who look completely offended by the request. I know that feeling. Eric might be used to people violating his privacy, but that's not the way we do things down here. He knows this. I can't hear what he says, but at my side Tara a mumbles, "Fucking teenagers."

"Amen, sister," I agree with her.

Eric doesn't sign the paper the girl brought him. In fact, I see him have a real emotional response to all of this for the first time.

"Are you fucking serious?" he snaps at the girl with a furious expression on his normally calm face. "This is my best friend's funeral, not a fucking red carpet. What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you stupid or just so fucking selfish that you aren't capable of thinking of anyone but yourself? I'm not here to sign things for you to sell on eBay, or to brag to your dumbass friends about later. Get the fuck away from me. In fact, get the fuck out of here."

Everything comes to a stop. Everyone stops talking to watch what happens. Eric isn't exactly being quiet and I don't blame him.

When she doesn't move he yells, "Go!"

The girl jumps at the thundering sound of his raised voice, and quickly scrambles from the room. Well, I'm sure she'll tell people he's an asshole, but I bet she'll leave out that she approached him at a funeral. Tara and I move over to Eric.

"Are you okay?" I ask him, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze of reassurance.

He jerks his hand away from me and storms out of the funeral home. I think about going after him, but I don't. I let Eric have his space.

"Think someone should go talk to him?" Jase asks.

"No, he needs to cool off," I say, and then give Sam a hug.

"How're you doing, Sook?" he asks.

I shrug. "I'm alive. Today that's all I can ask for."

He gives me one of those sympathetic looks I can't stand, but then offers, "I'd be honored if you'd have an after funeral get together at the bar. I'll close it down for a private party. All drinks on the house."

"That's sweet of you Sam. I think I might just take you up on that."

He nods and says, "Just let me know how many are coming. I'll get appetizers made up."

"I'll send out an email via Facebook and include you on it." You gotta love technology for reasons like this. I'll check Jake's Facebook page when I get home later.

Sam excuses himself to go talk with some of his staff that's congregated on the other side of the room. Amy comes when she's off of work, and I'm glad to see her. Jake's sister, Stephanie, comes over to our little group and I finally get to hold baby Cora. She's sound asleep and cute as a button. She weighs next to nothing. Her face is a little chubby, but I can already tell she has the Purifoy chin.

Holding Cora gets me wondering if Jake and I had gotten pregnant, would our kids have that chin, too? Would they have gotten his thick, dark hair and blue/gray eyes? Would my sons have been athletic but sweet boys respectful of their mama and women in general? Would our daughters be tall and graceful, maybe ballerinas that wrap their daddy around their little fingers with the bat of a single eyelash? Was this why God didn't bless us with a child, because He knew Jake was going to die? Had this fucked up disaster always been written in the stars?

I have to give Cora back to Steph when my stomach turns. As soon as the baby is back in her arms, I bolt for the ladies' room and promptly throw up.

**EPOV**

After the girl asks me for my autograph I can't take it anymore. I know I shouldn't have snapped at her like I did, but I was furious. This day should be all about Jake, and from the moment people started arriving I felt like I was walking around in a fishbowl. It isn't usually like this when I come home, but with all the students it's hard to avoid. I could see them staring and pointing at me, whispering, trying to snap pictures with their phones. I will have to thank Sookie later for blocking a number of them from getting a good shot.

It's times like these that I absolutely hate being famous. There are plenty of perks that I enjoy a lot, but sometimes it's a hard trade-up when I can't just be normal. I've never been one of those jerks that won't sign autographs or stop and take a picture for a fan. I know that I wouldn't have a job if people didn't want to spend their hard-earned money to watch me on TV or in theaters. The least I can do is stop and take a photograph with them.

But then there are the times when I'm just having lunch with my friends and I don't want to be bothered. I'll still do it because I don't want to be rude, and thankfully most fans will just snap pictures of me and not come over, but there are always a few who will interrupt and try to get an autograph. It's annoying, but I don't feel like I can complain.

This time though? I'm at my best friend's _wake_, and I'm in a town where most people don't give a shit that I've been in movies. It takes balls, or more likely, a lot of stupidity to come up to me at a wake and think you're going to get an autograph and a picture. I deserve better than that and so does Jake.

When Sookie came over and grabbed my hand I had to get out of there. I realized that some of the teens there probably only showed up because they knew I'd be there. I was so close to personally kicking the group that had been taking picture of me out that I had to remove myself from the situation. It didn't matter that I was in my home town, something like that would get out and I don't want to deal with the PR. Pam would be sympathetic for once in her life over it, maybe, but she'd still kick my ass for giving her a mess.

I'm not sure how long I've been outside when Amy, Jason's girlfriend, comes out and stands next to me.

"Hey," I say. "Are people filtering out yet?"

"Not really," she says. "It's still early. The people who aren't really close to Jake or the families will probably be on their way soon. I think there are a lot of curious busybodies floating around."

"I didn't mean to cause a scene."

"Oh I wasn't talking about you, shockingly enough," she says and comes closer. Her voice drops much lower and she says, "I actually heard a few kids saying they were hoping for an open casket."

"Who?" I ask immediately. "I'll fucking kick them out myself."

"Jase took care of it already," she assures me. "He wasn't too happy about it either. Thank God Sookie didn't hear it."

"I know we were all stupid fucking teenagers one day, but I don't remember ever thinking that shit was okay. You go to a wake to pay your respects and remember someone you lost. You don't go to see a dead body."

"We're getting old," Amy sighs. "But I don't get it either. Kids."

"It's so disrespectful to his parents and to Sookie," I say. "Is she doing alright still?"

"She uh, I guess her cold or something is bothering her. She just ran for the bathroom a minute ago," Amy says, and pulls a pack of cigarettes from her pocket. She offers me one while she lights up. "I don't usually smoke but under the circumstances I guess it's better than being drunk the whole time."

"No thanks," I say. "Tempting, but I'll pick up the habit again if I do."

I was a smoker for a few years when I first moved out to L.A. It took me a while to kick the habit, but I feel better for it.

"I'm sure Sook'll mention it to you later, but Sam offered his place tomorrow after the funeral," she says. "It can't get here fast enough. I hate funerals."

"I don't know anyone who enjoys them," I say. "It's going to be a hard day."

Amy nods her agreement and exhales a stream of pale blue smoke into the night air.

"The whole concept is… morbid. Really, the funeral is more for the people left behind, when you think about it. I mean, once I'm dead I won't know the difference. And the whole idea of celebrating someone's life after they die? That I really don't fully understand. Yeah, I guess it's better to cling to the good stuff. Guys like Jake don't come along everyday, but in the grand scheme of things – and I mean no offense when I say this because I liked him and all – but is this loss really going to change the world? You'll go on. Sookie will go on. We'll all go on. Someday Jake will just be a reason to smile," she says, and then inhales another drag.

"No, Jake's loss won't change the world, but it has changed the world to a handful of people. Sookie, his parents, his sister, me… Nothing feels like it'll be the same ever again, and that's why we need to celebrate his life."

"And what about when the celebration's over? What then? I guess to me it just seems like a lot of ritual that ultimately changes nothing," she shrugs, and then adds, "I'm sorry if that offends you. Just a personal opinion."

"Maybe you're right," I say. "But it's important to some people to go through the motions and put him to rest. It's closure. And then we can deal with the rest of it."

Amy sighs and exhales more smoke. "I guess I'm just a person that doesn't find closure in a room that smells like grief."

She throws her half-smoked cigarette to the ground and stomps it out with her shoe.

"Good thing this isn't a habit," she smiles and tucks her pack back in her pocket. "Are you coming back in, or do you need more time away from the idiots?"

"I'll be back in in a minute," I say.

"Alright." Amy turns and heads back into the funeral home.

I take a minute to think about what she said. Is it really pointless to go through these things? And really, what are the other options? It sucks to stand in a room full of sad people, but I felt like if we didn't do it, we would be doing something wrong. Jake deserves to have a proper funeral, and everyone deserves to be able to mourn him.

When I head back in, I run into Sookie coming out of the bathroom in the back hall. She looks pale and upset, and my first thought is that she overheard some more stupid teenagers.

"Are you alright?" I ask.

"Good enough," she says, but it doesn't really answer my question.

"You look like you need to lie down."

"I could use it," she acknowledges. "But now's not the time. There are more people to talk to and I can't leave before the service so I'll just have to suck it up and slap on as happy a face as I can muster. Got any tips on how to do that since you're a professional?"

"Bury everything deep and pretend to be someone else."

She nods and says, "And here I thought you'd suggest I picture everyone in their underwear."

"That never works for me because I'm comfortable with nudity already," I smile.

"Hmph," she snorts, but loses a battle with her smile before going back into the room full of mourners.

**xXx**

A couple of long, incident-free, hours later the service is finally given. The reverend we've had since we were born stands up to give a short prayer that offers me little comfort. Unlike a lot of people in the town, I don't believe in God. But I bow my head out of respect and hope that the prayer gives Jake's family and Sookie some kind of comfort. When he finishes, he reminds everyone what time the funeral is tomorrow and where Jake will be buried. After that people start filtering out, some stopping to say goodbye to Jake's parents and Sookie again.

By the time I get to Sookie she looks like she's ready to collapse.

"Are you ready to get out of here?" I ask her quietly.

"Yes please," she says, and reaches for her purse.

I hug Channing and Dell, and then Sookie and I head out to my car. We're both quiet on the way back to her house, and I think she just wants to go inside and crash. It's going to be a hard day for both of us tomorrow.

When we get inside her house, I ask if she needs anything.

"Food," she says. "I'm starving. I think I had some cheese and crackers, but that's it."

"Food," I nod. "I forgot about food, but now that you mention it, I'm starving too."

"Something greasy with bacon might be nice," she says.

"Do you want me to go out and get us fast food?"

"If you want. Otherwise I can just make us something. It's no big deal."

"The only way to get satisfying bacon and grease is fast food," I say. "I'll go out and get it. Be back in like fifteen minutes."

"I'll be waiting," she says.

I head back out to my car and drive back into town to get us greasy bacon cheeseburgers. When I get back to the house, Sookie's sitting in the living room and she's changed into her pajamas. I set the bag of food and the drinks on the coffee table.

"I didn't know what soda you like, so I got you a Coke," I say.

"Coke is fine," she says, and waits for me to dole out the food.

I pull out one of the burgers and fries and hand them over, then set mine on the table.

"I'm just going to go take off this suit," I tell her. "I'll be right back."

"Okay."

Five minutes later I'm back on the couch, unwrapping my burger.

"This was a good idea," I smile, and take a huge bite.

"You know, Jake and I used to do something like this. At the end of the week we'd both be tired and usually end up dragging our behinds up to Merlotte's for a few drinks because there's nothing else to do in this town after sundown on a Friday night unless you want to listen to the old timers at the diner," she says, and takes a bite of a fry. "So we'd go have our drinks and then we'd stop for bacon cheeseburgers, and then spend the night in front of the TV watching the Spanish station making up our own soap opera stories."

I smile, because it sounds so incredibly normal and nice, and definitely something Jake would love.

"That sounds like fun," I say.

"It was. I never knew Jake was so creative until we started with that. Heck, I don't even remember how we started that routine."

"I wish I had a routine like that."

"So start one," she shrugs.

"It's a little hard to do all that for me," I say. "You saw what it was like just tonight."

"Oh come on! There are plenty of celebrities that manage to stay out of tabloid coverage and whatnot. Like you almost forget they exist until they have a new project in the works," she says. "I think you like the attention. It feeds that delicate ego of yours."

"You think I _like _attention like that?"

"Not at your best friend's funeral, but in general, yeah."

"You try to live my life and see if you like it," I say, and turn my attention back to my burger.

"No thanks. There's a reason I moved back here when I finished college. I like it here just fine."

"Look, I know I like the perks of what I do for a living. I love being able to afford things, and getting to do what I want whenever. I love that there's always a willing girl to sleep with. I love that people are so willing to pay money to see me. It's insane, and awesome, but sometimes the negatives make me question why I didn't stay here and settle down like Jake did."

"You're not built for it, that's why," Sookie shrugs.

"So that's it? I just get this life where I'll probably never get anything normal?"

"If you don't like it then change it."

"It's not that I don't like it. I just don't want to know that I'm never going to…" I trail off. I have no fucking clue what I'm talking about. "You know what, you're right. I like my life just fine."

"Okay." Sookie says in a completely unaffected tone and take a sip of her drink.

I inhale the rest of my food and then announce that I'm going to bed.

"What time do I need to get up?"

"We need to be back at the funeral home at nine," she says. "I'll be getting up around seven."

"Alright," I nod. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight," she says, and I start to walk away. "Eric, wait. Thank you. Thank you for coming and thank you for being such a good friend to the man I love. It means a lot that you're here and that you're doing what you can to help me even though I know you don't like me very much. So thank you."

I balk a little when she says that I don't like her very much. Was I really that bad around her? I don't really know what say to that.

"You don't have to thank me," I say. "Goodnight, Sookie."

"Night," she smiles, and takes another bite of her burger.

I go back to my room and shut the door. Something is gnawing at the back of my mind, but I do my best to ignore it. I've got to be up early to bury my best friend, and the last thing I need is to be awake all night.

* * *

**Chapter 9 is up on WordPress, just so you know. Hope everyone had a great weekend!  
**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I'm standing with Eric, Jason, Amy and Sam when Mike Sullivan, the funeral director, comes over to give Jason and Eric white gloves to wear for their duties as pallbearers. My heart aches a little at the expressions on their faces. This is it… our last moments before it really is official and Jake is truly gone. There's a part of me that still believes this is all a nightmare and any moment now I'm going to wake up in the hospital, hooked up to IVs and monitors as a result of running a high fever for days. Jake'll be at my bedside, dozing off with Animal Planet on and his hand on mine to monitor for signs that I'm awake. My eyes will open and I'll smile to see him sitting there beside me, patiently standing guard, waiting for me to wake up.

"Sookie, we're going to be getting started in a moment," Reverend Delacroix tells me. I go up to the front row of the room where Channing, Dell, Steph and her husband are already seated. Jake's aunts, uncles, cousins and other various family members are also seated in the front rows. I take a seat beside Channing since Steph is occupying the seat beside Dell.

I put my hands in my lap, but I feel a hand on my shoulder. My head turns and it's my father, giving me a little boost of strength. I'm going to need it.

The other people in the room start to take their seats, minus the pallbearers, who are lined up at the front of the room, ready to escort Jake out of the building to the hearse that will lead us all to Home Sweet Home Cemetery next door to my parents' house. Already I feel the tears welling and it's like they're coming from the pit of my stomach. I intentionally didn't eat breakfast. I've been feeling nauseous since I woke up this morning and I think it has everything to do with the fact that I know there's a hole in the earth just waiting to swallow my special boy.

_It's not fucking fair._

There's a part of me that wants to kick and scream and throw the mother of all tantrums, and maybe later, when I'm alone in my room, that's exactly what I'll do. For now, I'm just trying not to dry heave in the middle of the reverend's prayers. When he's finished, the room is cleared to give the immediate family a few final moments alone with Jake. Eric starts to leave the room but Channing stops him.

"You were his brother, Eric. Don't even think about leaving," he says, and I see Eric's tough exterior start to crack. If he loses it, I know I don't stand a chance. Yet I don't expect him to be strong for me.

Channing and Dell approach the coffin first, holding onto each other as they say their goodbyes to the baby they brought into the world. My heart breaks for them, and I can hear Dell weeping quietly. Steph joins them a moment later and she's absorbed by her parents. The three of them are huddled together and I feel myself shaking. My hands, my knees… my head feels like it's disconnecting from my body, holding on only by a thin tether. I try to breathe but it's like my lungs don't want to expand when I command them to.

And then it's my turn.

My feet are glued to the floor. They don't want to move and it isn't until Eric comes and offers me his arm that I can finally get myself to move. Each step feels like a mile and in my head I'm flinging myself on the coffin in a dramatic fashion like in ancient lands where widows flung themselves onto funeral pyres. Instead I settle for silent tears, aside from how messed up my breathing is, all jagged and not really supplying me with any air. It all seems so jumbled in my throat.

My vision is blurry with all of my tears and honestly it's amazing I have anything left after all the tears I've already shed. Eric holds my hand as I step forward and place a kiss on the coffin. It hits me then that the last kiss I give to Jake will spend eternity on a box and not on his warm skin where it belongs. I think of all the little things Jake will never get to do again, all the things we should have done together but will never do. It hurts more than I can possibly put into words.

Eric stands behind me with his hand on my back the way Jake would have done if he had been standing there beside me and for a split second I think I smell Jake's aftershave, which only makes me weep a little harder. It has to be my mind playing tricks on me, trying to comfort me in some way, but it's not cool. It doesn't help. It just makes the sad girl inside me want to curl up beside him in that box because at least we'd still be together.

_I want him back._

I know I can't have him and it's irrational, but it's how I feel. I want Jake back. I don't want to carry around the burden of the pain in my heart. I want his smiling face looking back at me in the morning, telling me he's already started the coffee and the paperboy dropped our paper in a puddle again. I want those Friday nights I told Eric about back. I want random foot rubs on our front porch while we listen to Jimmy Buffett and dream about someday owning a big house on a Caribbean island.

All things I can't have anymore.

_It's all gone._

I have to start over. Back to the drawing board. But I can't imagine a future that doesn't include him, or the plans we made.

The reverend opens the doors before I'm ready to let him go, and the pallbearers file back in. My father comes into the room and puts an arm around me to get me out of their way. I see Eric wipe tears from his cheeks as he and Jason assume positions around the casket. I squeeze my eyes shut, unable to watch them carry Jake from the room. Dad guides me out of the room and Mom flanks my other side as we walk out of the funeral home, following behind Jake's coffin.

Eric drove us, so I separate from my parents and get into the rental car with him. We're right behind Steph. Her husband is driving their SUV with Jake's parents in the backseat. The ride to the church is short, and again I'm flanked by my parents as Jake's coffin is carried into the church. The bells ring in a mournful way and the only thing that makes me happy is the cloud coverage overhead. I take a seat in the second row of pews, and find myself sitting between Eric and Jason.

My concentration isn't all there while the reverend conducts the service, but I do notice that Eric holds my hand for most of it. Whether he's comforting me or himself, I'm not sure.

"And now we'll hear a few words from Eric Northman, a close friend of Jake's," Reverend Delacroix says, and Eric is forced to let go of my hand so he can speak.

"Thank you all for coming. It's a true testament to Jake's character that so many people came to pay their respects. When I started writing this eulogy I kept wanting to say 'is' instead of 'was.' And then I thought, what's so wrong with that? What's wrong with saying 'is' just because someone is no longer with us? Because to me, Jake still is the best friend I've ever had. He still is a son, a brother, an uncle, and a partner to the people who loved him. He still is the person that keeps me grounded and sane. Still the teacher who's lessons will hopefully stay with his students.

"Someday, Jake may become a 'was' in some respects, but today is not that day. Even though he is no longer able to be around us, to smile and laugh with us, to comfort us, to teach us, to support us, he is still in our memories.

"I want everyone to remember that. Our memories are where Jake lives now. He can continue to live through us, we just have to carry him with us.

"I know that I will. I'll remember the time when we were a couple of eleven-year-olds at summer camp organizing a panty raid on the girls cabin. Well, I was organizing it, Jake was trying to convince me that getting into trouble was a _bad_ idea. I'll remember when we graduated middle school, and went into high school thinking we were kings, only to be shown how much we weren't when someone managed to stuff me into a locker. Jake got me out later, I promise.

"I'll remember when Jake scored the winning touchdown during the state championship our junior year. I never thought I'd see him happier than that moment, and it was until he met Sookie. To those that were close to Jake, they know that Sookie is the love of his life. When he met her, it was like he knew the rest of his life would be okay because he had her. And I'll remember the day he told me he was going to give up playing pro ball because he had a new dream; to grow old with Sookie. It's a crime that he won't be able to do that, but I know that for the past seven years, Jake was happier than most people ever get to experience in their lives. That is something that I will forever be grateful for."

There isn't a dry eye in the house when Eric is finished. He sits down next to me again, but not for long. Communion is given a short time later, and then Reverend Delacroix brings the service to a close. The pallbearers return to the little space before the altar where the coffin is resting on a stand that is only brought out for funerals. The organist starts up 'Ave Maria' and the choir master sings mournfully as Jake is carried out of the church. I can't seem to stop crying and it's a good thing I have my brother to lean on as we walk out of the church.

To kill the painful silence in the car on the short ride to the cemetery, Eric turns on the satellite radio. God must be in a clever mood. Johnny Cash is on the radio, singing that Nine Inch Nails cover he did. Fitting, yet painful.

Good one, Lord.

But then out of nowhere I remember something rather comical from spring break our senior year of college and I burst out laughing.

Eric's head turns in my direction, and he's got a confused, yet concerned look on his face.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Jake… karaoke… Ring of Fire…" I gasp for air.

He cracks a smile that grows, and before I know it he's laughing with me.

"Do you have video?"

"I wish," I laugh a little harder. "He was… he was wearing Elvis sunglasses… drunk off his ass on tequila… he kissed a guy…"

"Jake kissed a guy?!"

"Yep, right on the lips. Poor old guy never saw it coming."

"Jake kissed an _elderly_ guy?"

"Uh huh."

"Jesus," he laughs.

I calm down a little, but keep smiling as we drive into the cemetery. "It was spring break senior year of college. I'm sure he never meant for you to know about that."

"Then it's too bad I can't tease him about it now."

"Yes it is," I agree.

Eric stops the car and we both take a minute before getting out. The pallbearers carry the coffin the the grave site, and I stand with my family beside Jake's. When I look into the hole in the earth I get a little vertigo, and for a few seconds it feels like the earth is rushing up to meet me. Then my father's hands steady me and I realize I was actually falling. Not into the grave, but sinking to my knees. Thankfully there are chairs, and one of Jake's uncles vacates his so I can sit down. It's a good call.

Dad stays at my side and keeps his hand on my shoulder while the final prayers are said for Jake. The whole thing is a blur of tears and amens, until finally the coffin is being lowered into the ground. My heart seizes and I can't breathe. At least it feels like I can't. The world turns inside out for me and it's like nothing makes any sense anymore.

_He's really not coming back to me._

**EPOV**

Watching Jake being lowered into the ground is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Jake isn't meant to be locked away in a box in the ground. He's supposed to be with us, happy and smiling like always. It makes me sad, and it makes me so incredibly angry to see. I have to take a few minutes to myself before driving with Sookie to Jake's parents house for lunch.

It's hard to be here. Everyone looks so emotionally exhausted and ready to just collapse. Sookie is starting to look really bad, and to me, she looks how I feel. Channing gets up and says a few words before we all eat, and everyone is courteous enough to leave shortly after the cleanup is finished.

"Do you need to stop anywhere before we go back?" I ask Sookie on the drive back to her house.

"No," she says. Her voice is back to being scratchy, probably from crying so much. "I want to take a nap before going up to Merlotte's later."

"Alright," I say, and stay quiet after that.

"Are you coming up to the bar?" Sookie asks.

"Yeah, I think so. I think we both need a few drinks after that."

"That's an understatement. It's a private thing. I sent out invitations on Facebook and the bar is closed to the public, so it'll mostly be people you know."

"Then I'm definitely going," I say. "At least there won't be a repeat of yesterday."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that," she apologizes like it's her fault.

"It's not your fault," I insist. "I'm sorry I caused a scene."

"Actually, I think you showed restraint."

"I didn't hold much back."

"You had a right. You're a person. People forget that sometimes."

"You have no idea how often," I say as I pull up to her house.

Sookie gives me a sympathetic look, but then gets out of the car. She leads the way up to the house and when we get inside she takes off her shoes and coat.

"Okay, well, I'll be upstairs. The thing at Merlotte's starts at eight and I told Sam I'd get there around 7:30. We don't have to drive together if you don't want to," she says.

"We can, but we're both going to be drinking," I say. "Do we have a designated driver?"

"Amy volunteered to stay sober."

"Good. Then why don't we just take one vehicle that way one of us can drive the other back tomorrow?"

"That's fine with me."

"I think I'm going to take a nap too," I say. "I'll see you in a while."

"Sleep well," she says, and starts climbing the stairs.

I go to my bedroom and take a seat at the foot of the bed. I can't believe I just buried my best friend. He was way too young to die, and it isn't fair. Not to him, not to his family, not to Sookie. Jake deserved a better hand in life.

I fall back onto the bed and watch the blades of the ceiling fan above me turn. Before I know it, I'm drifting off to sleep.

**xXx**

I slam my shot glass back on the bar and smile. Drinking was a great idea. It almost feels like a party to celebrate Jake, and I feel like he would have liked that.

"Sam, you are just awesome for doing this," I tell him. "Jake would have loved it."

"Yes he would," he agrees, and refills my glass without being asked.

"It's gonna suck without him, y'know?" I ask. The alcohol has already loosened me up.

"It's true," Sookie says as she climbs up onto the stool next to mine with a Corona in her hand. "Jake is one of a kind."

"Yeah he is," I smile.

"Need a fresh one, Sook?" Sam asks her.

"Sure." Sookie picks up a chicken tender and dips it in barbecue sauce.

"You look really nice tonight, Sook," I tell her. "Jake would have been smiling his ass off all night to get to stand next to you."

"Thanks," she smiles, and takes a bite of the chicken as Tara comes over.

"Hey, Eric," she gives me a hug. "You gonna come and dance with Sook and me?"

"Yeah, why not?" I smile. "You look pretty tonight too, Tara."

"Why thank you. Aren't you just as sweet as ten pounds of sugar in a five pound bag?"

"Here you go, Tara." Sam slides over another beer to her as well.

"Sam, how about a round of Wild Turkey?" Sookie suggests, and Tara starts to cackle.

"Oh no," Jason appears. "No, no, no. No Wild Turkey for Sook."

"Why? What happens when Sookie has Wild Turkey?" I ask.

Tara leans over and whispers, "She gets a little crazy. By crazy, I mean naked."

"Y'all hush," Sookie says, her country accent thickening the drunker she gets.

"So that's why Jake kept a bottle at the house," I smile.

"I don't wanna hear that," Jason says with a groan.

"We had sex a lot, Jase," Sookie volunteers.

"Okay, you come dance with me," Tara laughs and pulls Sookie off her stool. "Bring your beer. We'll go find Jake's song."

"Aerosmith!" Sookie hollers and follows Tara to the jukebox.

Jason laughs and says, "She's gonna be fun tomorrow. Good luck."

"I'm glad she's having fun. It's a good sign she's still in there," Amy says.

"She'll come back in time," I say.

Sam sets up the shots of Wild Turkey and the girls get Aerosmith going. It was Jake's favorite band.

"Shots are up, ladies!" Sam calls out and Jason groans.

"Embrace it, Jase," I say, and pick up one of the shots. Tara and Sookie come over and each grab one. "To Jake," I say, holding up my glass.

They all raise their glasses, and we all clink them together, and then slam the shots back. 'Sweet Emotion' starts to play, and Sookie and Tara go dance.

Amy's right, it is nice to see that Sookie is still in there. I may not get along with her as well as I did Jake, but he loved her, so that makes her important to me now.

"Excuse me," I say, and head over to the girls. "Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all," Tara says. "Let's see what you got, movie star."

"That's _Oscar nominated_ movie star," Sookie corrects.

"Thank you, Sookie," I snort, and step between them. There's nothing better than being sandwiched by two dancing girls.

"You're not half bad, Northman," Sookie says, her hips swaying perfectly with the beat.

Sookie's wearing a shirt that shows off her amazing cleavage. I always told Jake that if he had to pick a girl to settle down with, at least he picked one with better tits than all the ones in Hollywood. But unfortunately the sight is giving my alcohol addled brain a flash of horniness. I turn around and face Tara, putting my hands on her hips.

She arches her back and ends up grinding against me a little, which doesn't really help. Sookie ends up dancing with a couple of girls I don't really know, but Sookie told me are teachers at the high school now. Sam comes over with another round of Wild Turkey shots, and Sookie quickly shoots one back.

I take one too and shake my head, hoping to knock off whatever is happening in my pants. I shouldn't be wanting to have sex on the day of my best friend's funeral. It just seems wrong. I never really believed all that sex-is-life-affirming stuff, but it's starting to make sense.

"You know, Eric, you're cuter when I drink," Sookie giggles, her cheeks flushed, and then gets right back to dancing before I can respond.

Why the fuck is Sookie being nice to me? She's never been this nice to me. She's complimenting me and shit. It's strange, but somehow I like it. Has she always been this awesome?

I keep dancing with them until a slow song comes on, and head back to the bar.

"Sam, can I get a beer?" I ask.

"Sure thing."

Sookie and Tara are still dancing with each other, crooning along with 'I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing' at the top of their lungs. They're definitely not singers by nature.

Sam sets the beer on the bar, and I pick it up and take a drink while watching the girls. After a minute it becomes clear that it was a bad idea due to the tightening of my pants, and I turn back to the bar.

"She's gonna be hurting in the morning," I tell Sam. "Me too, if I keep going at it."

"Drink lots of water before bed, if you can. That'll help some," he advises. "But I'll stop giving her shots. She's probably at max capacity anyway."

The girls come over to the bar and Sookie asks for water as the song changes to 'Big Ten Inch'.

Tara giggles and whispers something in Sookie's ear that makes her blush, giggle and say, "I don't know. Ask him yourself."

"Tara," I smirk. "If you want to know, I'm sure we can go back to the bathroom and play."

"Tit for tat, right," she smiles. "I'm in."

"Tara!" Sookie admonishes.

"What? I'm curious. Besides, I probably won't even remember tomorrow."

"Don't you have a boyfriend?" I ask.

"Not right now," she says. "I'm a free agent."

"Hmm," I look to Sookie. "Should I show her my love stick?"

Sookie nearly chokes on her water. Sam hands her a napkin and she says, "That's none of my business. You do what you want."

"I'm not sure I can show you without you wanting to touch it," I tell Tara.

"I can keep my hands to myself," Tara says. "But if you're not comfortable with it then that's okay. I'll just have to imagine it."

"Nope," I say, and hop off the bar stool. "I'm more than comfortable with it. Come on."

"Go get some, girl," Sookie winks at Tara, who follows me back to the bathroom.

I shut the door once she's in there with me and start laughing.

"Okay you first," I say.

"What am I showing?"

I look her up and down, and say, "I think tits is fair for cock."

Tara smiles and then peels off the tank top she's wearing. She's not at all shy about it either. She reaches behind herself and unhooks her bra, and then pulls it off completely. My smile grows as I lock eyes on her boobs. They're not the best tits I've ever seen, but they're nice.

"How long do I get?" I ask as I stare at them.

"Mmmm… another thirty seconds."

"That's a long time," I smirk. "And this is good because I'll be at full capacity when you see my cock."

Tara laughs and asks, "Want me to dance? I just finished a belly dancing class."

"You've only got like fifteen seconds to do it."

"Sook taught me," she says as she starts to move. Her hips sway and start to pop, and there's the movement of her stomach… She definitely surpasses the fifteen second time limit.

My eyes are still on her tits when she stops suddenly and covers them back up.

"Dammit, that wasn't long enough."

"That was like three minutes. That's all you get if you want me to keep my hands off you," she says and pulls her tank top back on.

"So then it's my turn," I smirk, and start to unbutton my jeans.

Tara pushes herself up on the vanity and watches me.

I open my jeans and reach into my boxers to pull myself out. I'm definitely at full staff and I smirk proudly when Tara's jaw drops.

"There you go," I say.

"Dinner is served," she says with wide eyes, and then licks her lips.

"I didn't get to touch and neither do you."

"Does this mean you're not going to dance for me?" Tara chuckles.

"Cock doesn't look good flopping around, so no."

Tara laughs and says, "You got that right. Okay, my curiosity is sated. You can put that monster away before it goes after the villagers."

"All done already?" I ask with a grin and tuck my cock back into my boxers.

"That was fun." Tara hops down off the vanity.

"Yeah it was," I say, and open the door. "Maybe one day when we're sober we'll do it again."

"Time and place, baby," she says with sass, and slaps my ass on her way out.

"Hands off the goods," I joke, and follow her back out to the bar.

"You got tits _and_ a belly dance," Tara reasons.

"And you got to see my dick," I shrug.

We get back to the bar and Tara asks, "Where's Sook?"

"She left," Sam says.

"What?" I ask. "Why? We were supposed to get a ride from Amy together."

"She was ready to go, I guess. She left with Amy and Jason about five minutes ago."

"Were we gone that long?" Tara looks surprised.

"Yeah, you were and if you made a mess in my bathroom you better have cleaned it up," Sam says.

"We didn't do anything, Sam," I say. "Is there someone else sober enough to give me a ride?"

"Yeah." Sam points to a group of Jake's cousins.

"Thanks," I say, and head over to ask if someone can drive me.

One of them says he will, and we head out to his truck. I'm not sure why, but Sookie leaving like that pisses me off, and I'm going to ask her about it when I get to her house.

* * *

**Ruhroh. Looks like trouble, yes? Chapter 11 just went up on WordPress. I may only post 15 chapters of this story here before I stop. I haven't decided yet. I'll let you know when I'm done posting here. Posting will continue daily on WordPress, however, so if you're still not following us there I don't know why not. Get to it! Thanks for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7

**For the Anon that just reviewed this story complaining that I'm not updating enough here for your liking:**

I noted in the last chapter that I would only be posting up to 15 chapters here (and the story is 54 chapters long). I have stated _several_ times that if you want to read daily updates that you should be looking at wordpress. If you want more of this story it is available, just not on this website. There is a link to brainmates fic in my profile here and if that doesn't work for you, you can google search "brainmatesfic wordpress" and you'll be able to locate our blog that way.

That said, we're up to chapter 27 on Wordpress, so go there if you want more.

Thanks!

* * *

Chapter 7

Eric is an asshole. Of course he's off playing doctor with Tara in the bathroom. I don't really care that they're playing Show 'n Tell with their naughty bits, but at the bar? Really? Who does that shit? On top of that, I'm drunk, I miss Jake and I just want to go home where I can be closer to him and I don't have to worry about walking in on my best friend playing doctor with the world's biggest asshole.

When Eric and Tara aren't back in less than five minutes I assume they're having sex back there so I decide it's time to go. Eric can figure out his own way home. Jase is hesitant to leave without him, but Moneybags Northman can figure it out. He's a big boy.

Amy drives Jason's truck to my house and he walks me inside.

"You okay, Sook?"

"Yup. I'm going to drink some water, have a snack and pass out," I tell him.

Jason gives me a hug and promises to call me tomorrow. When he leaves I take off my shoes and stumble back to the kitchen. I put some mac 'n cheese in the microwave, and open a bottle of water. I'm sitting on the kitchen counter, eating my pasta when the front door opens and slams.

I guess it was a quickie.

Eric comes into the kitchen and gives me a what the fuck look.

"Why'd you leave?"

"I got bored. I didn't want to wait around while you hooked up with my best friend," I say with my mouth full. Fuck manners.

"I didn't hook up with her," he says.

"Okay," I snicker.

"She showed me her tits, and I showed her my cock, that's it. Is that a problem for you?"

"Nope, none of my business."

Although if it was Tara's funeral I wouldn't be doing shit like that… and apparently I say this out loud. Didn't mean to.

"Are you fucking kidding me? I'm drunk! I don't think Jake would give a shit that I showed Tara my dick. It's not like I fucked her."

"Whatever, Eric. I shouldn't even be surprised," I shrug.

"And why is that?"

"You know why." I slide off the counter. I'm not playing games with him.

"No, I really don't," he says.

"Because you're generally one of the most selfish people I know. You do what you want and fuck everyone else. Who cares if it's appropriate or not? As long as Eric's happy, everyone else can just fuck right off," I say and start out of the kitchen.

Eric follows right after me.

"I'm selfish? Do you have any idea how much shit I cancelled to come here and make sure _you_ were okay?!"

"Well I'm sorry Jake's _murder_ ruined your plans!" I whip around to face him.

"Oh, _fuck_ you, Sookie," he growls.

"No, _fuck you_! I didn't realize we're such a big goddamn burden to you, but the good news is that now that Jake is gone you don't have to be around me anymore." I realize what I just said and something in me breaks. I gasp and push past Eric to get to the stairs. I'm way too drunk to be dealing with all of his narcissistic bullshit.

"Is that what you think?" he shouts as he comes after me. "I should have known you were a bitch underneath all that fucking niceness."

"You know fuckall about me," I hiss at him.

"I know that you never fucking liked me," he accuses.

"You're an asshole! Of course I don't like you! I've never tried to cover that up. I'm not going to kiss your ass like everyone else in your life. Deal with it!"

"I never fucking wanted you to kiss my ass," he says. "It would have been nice if you didn't hold Jake back from his potential."

My hand flies up to slap him. I _never_ held Jake back. He made the decision on his own. There were no threats to leave him if he decided he wanted to pursue a career in the NFL. I would have supported him and been his biggest fan if it was what he wanted, but he wanted me.

My hand never makes it to Eric's cheek. He grabs my wrist before it gets there.

His eyes seem to be darker than normal, and his breathing is shallow. The next thing I know his lips are pressing against mine, hard. I feel a jolt run through me, but my senses return to me quickly. I push him back.

"What the fuck?" I stare up and raise my hand again to slap him.

But again he catches my wrist, and this time he pushes me against the wall before he kisses me. There's a little voice in my head saying that this is wrong, that I have no business kissing Eric. I just buried Jake.

At the same time, my body argues that that is exactly why I should do this. Eric knows how much I'm hurting because he feels the same. It's just tonight. It won't mean a thing to either of us and tomorrow we'll pretend nothing ever happened. It's just a drunken, grief-fueled mistake. Just a little comfort and less loneliness for a little while.

So I don't bother with the buttons on his shirt, and instead rip it open while his tongue is sweeping into my mouth. We only pull apart when we need to breathe, and I pull off my own shirt.

Eric's hands go to his jeans to unbutton them, and he starts to push them down. He kicks off his shoes with his jeans and then he's just standing there in his boxers, looking at me like I'm something he needs to devour.

"Do you have condoms?" I ask him. There's no way I'm having unprotected sex with him. Nor am I taking him upstairs into the room I shared with Jake.

"In my room," he says.

I unclasp the front closure of my bra and shrug out of it. "Let's go," I say, and walk past him.

Eric follows behind me and once we're in his room he drops his boxers and pulls a condom from his suitcase. I strip out of my jeans and panties, and as soon as I have them off, Eric pushes me back onto the bed.

It goes unsaid that we won't be telling anyone about this. Maybe it's wrong, but I need it right then and by the look in his eyes, so does he. We can take out all of our anger and aggression on each other. No one needs to know about it. Eric climbs up next to me and then his lips are on mine again. His hands are everywhere, but so are mine. He's a better kisser than I expected him to be.

We wrestle around, both of us wanting the upper hand, until finally I say, "Eric, get the condom."

**xXx**

The next morning I wake up late. I'm still in the guest room and when I roll over I realize I'm alone. My head spins a little when I sit up. I feel a little nauseous and I'm still naked. Eric's suitcase is gone and I remember what we did the night before.

I had sex with Eric.

My stomach turns and I lean over just in time to stick my head in the trash can before I throw up. I don't know if it's the hangover that brings it on, or how disgusted I am with myself. What the fuck was I thinking? I spend a good ten minutes with my head in the can before it stops, and then I notice the empty condom wrapper on the floor.

At least my judgment wasn't so fucked up that we weren't safe.

I slowly get out of bed and wince a little. I found out just how big Eric really is, and I'm feeling it in my lady parts. On top of that, I don't remember either of us being very sweet or gentle with each other. When I get to the bathroom I see hickeys on my neck and breasts. There are finger-shaped bruises on my hips from where he was grabbing me. My ponytail is lopsided from him pulling my hair while he had me on my hands and knees.

It's the morning after Jake's funeral and I shouldn't be looking or feeling thoroughly fucked, but I am.

I do my business and rinse my mouth out with mouthwash. I grab a towel and wrap it around me just in case Eric moved to another room instead of asking me, but the other guest room door is open and Eric's not there. He's not on the couch either. His clothes are picked up from the entryway where we left them the night before.

When I peek out the window, his rental car is gone.

Eric is gone.

Amazingly enough, I'm not mad that he's gone. I'm too busy being disgusted with myself for having sex with him to fret over being abandoned the morning after. I climb the stairs with the intention of going back to bed. I'll hate myself more after the hangover subsides.

For now, I just want to sleep it off.

**EPOV**

When I wake up naked next to naked Sookie I almost flip out. Fucking her was not supposed to happen. She was my best friend's girl. Practically his wife. And we literally _just_ buried him. I feel sick to my stomach and immediately get out of the bed. All I know is that I can't be there when she wakes up.

I pack up my things in a hurry and leave, and only when I'm out of Bon Temps do I call Stan to have him change my flight to the next one out.

The whole flight back I can't sleep. I can't get what I've done out of my head. The sex was good, at least what I can remember of it. Sookie is a beautiful woman and she's confident in bed, a trait the majority of the women I've fucked don't have. But as soon as I start to feel satisfied with any part of it, I remember that she is the woman Jake loved, and I want to punch myself in the face.

Sookie's right; I am an asshole.

When my flight lands I'm lucky enough to get to my car without any photographers seeing me, and I drive straight home. Stan has left my mail in their designated piles and an updated schedule for me in the kitchen. I'm going to be busy as fuck the next couple of weeks to make up for the time I took off. Thankfully, coming back a couple days early is going to give me some time to try and sleep off the disgust I feel for myself.

For the next couple of weeks I fall back into as much of a routine as I can get. I make up all of my meetings and go to as many industry parties as I can. The Oscars are in a few days so all the big Oscar parties are happening. It's prime networking time.

I still think about Jake often and what happened with Sookie, but I try not to. I haven't called her, and she hasn't called me, and I feel like that's the way it should be. We don't need to talk about it or ever acknowledge that it happened. It was one night that we both needed at the time. Channing has called me a couple times just to check in with how I'm doing, but he never mentions Sookie, and I never ask.

When the Oscars come around I lose again, but I'm not surprised. It really is an honor just to be nominated and if I play my cards right I'll have more chances to win in the future. I try my best during the ceremony not to think about how Jake was supposed to be watching. I'd always planned to thank him if I won, knowing it would make his night to know that I'd start gay rumors about myself by doing so.

After that, things die down a bit. I have some free time before my next project starts so I spend it reading scripts, working out, and fucking around. The sex with Sookie was great and all, but I can't have it on my conscience that she was the last woman I fucked.

About a week after the awards stuff is over, I'm having lunch with my PR agent, Pam. She immediately busts my balls over some shit that's popped up on the Internet about me yelling at a fan.

"Did you seriously yell at a teenage girl?" she asks me.

"Yes," I say.

She narrows her eyes and says, "You can't go throwing diva tantrums like that."

"Diva tantrums? Just what did this teenage girl say happened?" I ask.

"There's video on YouTube."

"Then why did you ask me if I did it if you've already seen it?"

"Because you need to remember that these brats are armed with smart phones. Everything can end up on the web. Stop making TMZ's job so damn easy."

"Pam, that brat approached me at my best friend's wake. I have good reason to have snapped, and the fact that someone recorded it is disgusting. And I will call TMZ myself to tell them so."

"Please," she rolls her eyes. "It's already handled. This is why you pay me."

"And how did you handle it?"

"By releasing a statement, telling people where you were at the time the video was recorded. I asked that people focus on the horrible crime that was committed so your friend's killer can be brought to justice."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. This girl may have inadvertently done you a favor."

"If anything good comes out of it for Jake, then I'll thank her myself."

"Don't get crazy," she says as my phone starts buzzing in my pocket.

I pull it out without looking to see who it is. Only people I want to talk to have my personal number anyway.

"Hello," I say.

"Eric, it's Sookie," she says.

"Oh." So much for people I actually wanna talk to. "What's up?"

"We have a problem."

"What is it? Something with Jake's case?" I ask.

"No, that's… They haven't made an arrest yet. That's not why I'm calling."

"Then why are you calling?"

"Because I just got some test results back from my doctor, and I think… I mean… Shit…"

"What's wrong?" I ask, thinking she's about to tell me she has cancer or something.

"I'm pregnant," she spits out.

"You're… Jake's?"

"Yours."

I can feel all the blood drain from my face, and Pam raises an eyebrow at me.

"That's not possible," I say. "How would you even know?"

"Because the day Jake died we went in for fertility testing. A week later my doctor called. He was shooting blanks. You're the only one I've been with. It's yours. _Ours._"

Fuck.

* * *

**Have a great weekend everyone!**


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